Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks

Constantly check your post on here to see if other people give it a response.

Get so angry you hit a table, wall etc but hit it so hard you feel as though you've broken you fingers and this just makes you even angrier.

when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

I bought a ps4 and really regret it.

When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

Sleep with one leg on top of the covers and the rest of your body under them.

Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

I mustn't step on the cracks in the pavement

Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.