Fake a yawn to see if other people will yawn back.

When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

Sometimes I read a whole page of text only to realize I didn't actually read any of it. Then I read it again. Sometimes this happens more than 3 times for one page.

Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

eat the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag

I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

Get creeped out at seeing 11:34 at least once per day. The number even turns up everywhere in my life such as my jewelry store.

People looking at me when listening to my Ipod. "Can they hear my music?" *turn volume down*

Can't stand it if something rubs against my knees up the way...if it happens i have to rub them down the way with my hands or they feel weird

When its nighttime, you walk around the house with one of your small animals in your arms, like it can protect you from anything

Use more toilet paper than you need, just because you feel like it cleans your ass more.

While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

Try to put in USB drive into computer, and no matter what, always ends up trying to put it in upside-down the first time.

Act like your on a cooking tv show when your cooking

Accidentally try to downloade PC software on your mac.

Throw mini celabration of clock says 11:11, 9:11 or anything ending in :00

When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

On a calendar search for the picture on your birthday month

when you say something and they go what? so you repeat it and they still didn't hear but once you say "forget it" they suddenly understood you perfectly.

try to cut corners in my house and hit the wall

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.