Fake a yawn to see if other people will yawn back.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Sometimes I read a whole page of text only to realize I didn't actually read any of it. Then I read it again. Sometimes this happens more than 3 times for one page.

thumb_up thumb_down +3,098

Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

thumb_up thumb_down -16

find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

eat the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,520

Get creeped out at seeing 11:34 at least once per day. The number even turns up everywhere in my life such as my jewelry store.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

People looking at me when listening to my Ipod. "Can they hear my music?" *turn volume down*

thumb_up thumb_down +1,730

Can't stand it if something rubs against my knees up the way...if it happens i have to rub them down the way with my hands or they feel weird

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When its nighttime, you walk around the house with one of your small animals in your arms, like it can protect you from anything

thumb_up thumb_down -104

Use more toilet paper than you need, just because you feel like it cleans your ass more.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,207

Try to put in USB drive into computer, and no matter what, always ends up trying to put it in upside-down the first time.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Act like your on a cooking tv show when your cooking

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Accidentally try to downloade PC software on your mac.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Throw mini celabration of clock says 11:11, 9:11 or anything ending in :00

thumb_up thumb_down +30

When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +985

On a calendar search for the picture on your birthday month

thumb_up thumb_down -22

when you say something and they go what? so you repeat it and they still didn't hear but once you say "forget it" they suddenly understood you perfectly.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

try to cut corners in my house and hit the wall

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.