When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

I have tons of imaginary conversations in my head with people I know, but they never happen. It's worse when something funny happens in the imaginary conversation and I laugh to myself, and if someone notices I can't even say that I was remembering something because I wasn't, it had never happened...

I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

Worry that I'm will go schizophrenic.

I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

After going to the bathroom, flush the toilet than hurry out of the bathroom and walk fast past a certain line going across the floor or make an imaginary line on the floor before the toilet fully flushes.

Poo really loud

When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

Get so angry you hit a table, wall etc but hit it so hard you feel as though you've broken you fingers and this just makes you even angrier.

watch cartoons even though most of my friends don't

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

when you are waiting for something to load, you go "please,please,pleas,please,please,please...." and the when it finally finishes you yell "YES!" OF COURSE, ONLY WHEN YOUR ALONE.

On an one night if I come too fast .je persuade the girl that I have to forget my cellular in my automobile and I get out

stare at the same gender for a long time and think 2 urself "am i gay?" and when they look at you, you tun ur eyes another way!

sneeze without closing my eyes

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lie on the couch with my head upside-down and imagine what it'd be like to walk around on the ceiling, and if you were to flip the house over so the floor's the ceiling, what you'd have to nail down to keep in place.

I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

Think you looked good the whole day, then come home and realize you were a hot mess and nobody told you

dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.