Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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When I'm about to go to the bathroom, I think of a million things that I have to do and try to do them all before I pee my pants.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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While lying in the tub the water gets cold so u turn back on the hot water with ur feet bc u are too lazy to get up and turn it on with your hands

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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Type in 'things you thought only you did' and find this site. Then smile stupidly and click thumbs up everytime you read something you thought only you did.

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I have seen a UFO

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Time a song on my MP3 player to be the soundtrack to something I'm about to do, especially in public places.

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stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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Sometimes I think the whole world is set up, and I feel like I'm living in some kind of Truman Show. I even sometimes say "I know you're there" to the moon.

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.