Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

Seperate your food on you dinner plate

I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

After texting someone, check your phone repeatedly to see if they responded

seeing small spots in your eye (dust probably) and then chasing them with your eye trying to catch them

Turn the Microwave off at 1 second

I gotta get down of Friday

Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

Skip peeing before bed because you dont feel like it, knowing that in about 15 minutes youre going to have to get back up because you wont be able to fall asleep until you go pee.

incognito mode on google chrome

Know all the lyrics to a song but then realize you never actually "listened" to the song to see what it's about

Try to balance the light switch between on and off.

On a calendar search for the picture on your birthday month

When I'm laying in bed, I make sure that my feet are covered and not hanging off the edge so that monsters don't eat them in my sleep.

Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

During an assembly, I try to be the last one to clap/ stand up/ sit down.

A song comes on that you hate but you sing with it anyway because you know the lyrics

When nobodys home, stay as quiet as possible just in case an intrudor is hiding somewhere

I talk to my pet when no one is home.

Pee in my work garbage can.

When my soap is running low, I add water to it.

I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.