Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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while talking about someone, immediately fear they are somehow listening

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No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

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Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

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Find it impossible to get rid of the itch on the bottom of my feet or my palms when they're itchy

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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when dialing a number, i hear the number itself when it is dialed

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In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

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I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

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When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

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SOMETIMES I SHIT ON MY HAND.... IN THE SHOWER

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I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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Before I go to bed at night, I close the closet door so the monsters inside don't come get me while I'm sleeping.

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

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Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

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When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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sitting in your room at night and making imagineary monters or random figures out of things in your room.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.