When I'm home alone, I get paranoid and think that someone is watching me and I try to act cool and funny just to impress them.

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get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

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get annoyed by people singing a song only to show off their brilliant voice and automatically think that they cannot sing as good as they think they can

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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when someone mispronounces something I say the correct pronunciation quietly under my breath so it doesn't bother me

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jack off

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Automatically lie to your dentist when they ask if you floss

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Check the time on my cell phone, put it back in my pocket. Dammit, didn't see the time. Check it again.

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Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

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When I see interactive ads on webpages ( "Shoot 5 iPhones And Get One Free!" type of windows ), I feel compelled to finish the task, even though I KNOW it's going to open a pop-up and waste 10 seconds of my life.

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Look at a friend and realize that you have forgotten their name...

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Waking up from a dream that you thought was real life, and thinking,man i wish that was real...

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I wish I was born again, but I had all of the knowledge I have now.

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when on a bus, pretend to fail to see your acquaintances to get some rest and avoid boring conversations.

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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If I see a shriveled, dried leaf while walking along the sidewalk I am compelled to step on it and make it crunch.

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If I'm home alone, I tell myself good night when I am getting cozy in bed. I even use my name.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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.don't like something because being scared that it appears on my wall.

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When tapping, I always have to do the same pattern of taps, and I feel incomplete if I don't finish the pattern I started.

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In the car and sad song comes on you look out the window and pretend your in a movie.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.