When I'm hungry I look in the fridge, but there's nothing good to eat so I shut the door and walk away. Then I look in the fridge again 10 seconds later in the hope that new food has arrived Robbie

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

i draw pictures of pokemon on comments (\____/) (??????)

i cant fall asleep unless i suck my thumb...

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

On the train, try and mathematically make (add,subtract,multiply,divide etc.) the carriage number to get to ten

listen to madonnas new album

I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

When your best friend has a certain make/model/color car, you start seeing it everywhere you go.

I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

When i take off my watch before i go to sleep i smell my wrist.

I like to say really offensive and/and racist words when I'm on my own and no one can hear me. It just feels good to say things that I'm not allowed to.

This song will not come out of my head!

When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

When I have to use my hands to eat my steak, chew the bones etc (do not tell me that so far this is weird and unusual :P ) I wipe my fingers after each touch => use a whole pack of table tissues :D

When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me.

Sit there with my hand just resting down my pants casually when I'm alone. It's comfy!

Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

Imagine that other people see colors different from me and if i had their brain i would see it like them

recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.