I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

Pretend animals talk to you!

When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

Look an ugly person up and down and try to think of ways that they can improve how they look. ( clothing, hair, and makeup)

Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

KICK THE CAN

When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.