When I'm walking at night, I put up my hood and grin evilly at passing cars so it'll scare the drivers if they see

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Always fantasize about grabbing a cop's gun from his holster. Just because I am pretty sure I could.

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When you get out of the shower and you're too lazy to get dressed, so you just hang around in a towel.

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When you stop to tie you shoe, you re-tie the other so one isnt tighter than the other.

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Hate when you finish a cup of pudding or something like that and you don’t want to get up to put the spoon in the sink so you just leave it sitting in the cup but the spoon is too tall for the cup and it falls over.

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Write things in the air with my finger, and then erase the words with my hand.

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Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

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How many times is it okay to say "what" before just nodding and smiling?

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When I'm in a hurry I brush my teeth while peeing because I think it saves time.

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Pull the curtain right to the end so there are no gaps just in case some weirdo at night decides to look in my window.

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I eat food when i'm bored..

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When I have a really good dream, and I wake up and realize it was a dream, I try to fall back asleep and re-visit the dream.

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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Whenever I'm home alone, I dance and sing along to any commercial.

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arrange certain social situations with attractive girls just to make spank bank deposits.

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

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Math tests-doing all the work for a problem only to find out my answer is not any of the multiple choices.

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Pick my nose with my elbow, that way I keep my nails clean.

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I delete all notifications on my phone before i shut it off.

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When I'm home alone I open random doors to make sure nobodys there

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.