when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Get really annoyed when something interrupts your yawn... then try and force yourself to complete the yawn

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

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Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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i see almost everything as a sign

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pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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I think people especially my parents, can hear my thoughts

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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Automatically lie to your dentist when they ask if you floss

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Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

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Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

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Sometimes I look at a digital clock and try to force the numbers to change with the power of my mind.

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I dip my pizza crust in soda

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Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.