Type in "Things you think only you do" then feel better that alot of people do the same stupid or smart things.

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I stop the microwave at 1 second so that one someone else uses it it beeps

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Watch the same movies over and over

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

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when looking for lost keys i return to the place they should be at least 5 times and look there

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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i cannot watch horror films that have blood in it for fear of nightmares

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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http://www.todayswhatsappstatus.com/

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

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Singing alone in the car and then stopping, scared that there is an audio recorder in the car recording you singing.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.