I never look out the window at night because I'm afraid there will be an Alien staring at me when I move the curtains.

Someone asks you "what's up" and you awkwardly reply "good".

Open the fridge every 15 minutes, to see if there is anything new to eat.

When standing on the beach, I try to command the waves to stop.

Wondering where are famous people and what they are doing at this exact moment.

I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

hurting your foot and running around trying not to think of the pain!

When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.

Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

Eat pizza backwards because the crust isn't as good as the cheese part and I want to get that over with.

I wonder if we're actually just dolls and are being controlled by some little girl in her little doll house ....

mentally scolding yourself for thinking something dirty just in case the person you're thinking about can read your thoughts

you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

Pretend I'm much more popular than I am with people who don't know my social life.

When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.