clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Sometimes I toot.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

thumb_up thumb_down -1

get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

when i watch tv and it cuts to break, if i hear someone on the tv tell me not to change the chanel, ill say "u cant tell me what to do!" and then ill change it.

thumb_up thumb_down +254

I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

When I'm in the shower and I hear a noise I automatically think someone broke into my house and killed my family and that they're coming for me and I will have to fight off the killer naked.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

When nobodys home, stay as quiet as possible just in case an intrudor is hiding somewhere

thumb_up thumb_down +830

When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

thumb_up thumb_down -61

when being in the bathroom at night, avoid looking in the mirror

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Get random feelings of nausea and/or dizziness for no apparent reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I look at my phone screen when i'm in an uncomfortable situation, and five minutes later i have to look again cause somebody asks what time it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I pee in the shower. :3

thumb_up thumb_down -16

i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Not expecting anyone to come over, some one knocks on the front door, mute the TV and hope they just go away.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

become increasingly panicked when its dark and you cant find the door handle.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -48

When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.