I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I count how many steps it takes to cross a section of sidewalk, and will continue taking the same amount of steps until I realize it.

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Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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Sit on the loo and think about life because I can't be bothered to get up

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

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When no one's looking, I run up stairs on hands and feet.

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I set my alarm clock early just so I can get up snooze it.... One, two, three, maybe even four times.

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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reading the back of the cereal box when eating cereal

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During an assembly, I try to be the last one to clap/ stand up/ sit down.

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I flip the pillow at night to feel the cool sensation.

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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I pretend I'm a musical when I'm alone and sing about all the stuff I'm doing.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.