While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

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I set my alarm clock early just so I can get up snooze it.... One, two, three, maybe even four times.

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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I rape small children ;).

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I unlike Facebook pages if they spam my wall.

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when dialing a number, i hear the number itself when it is dialed

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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Singing alone in the car and then stopping, scared that there is an audio recorder in the car recording you singing.

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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I translate (parts of) songs into different languages in my head. I try to do it as good as possible.

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If I see a shriveled, dried leaf while walking along the sidewalk I am compelled to step on it and make it crunch.

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before i go to sleep i must check the front door knob multiple times to make sure its locked

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I look at people and think, "they poop" then as I'm imagining them pooping I hurry and change thoughts before they finish.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.