Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

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Hate when you finish a cup of pudding or something like that and you don’t want to get up to put the spoon in the sink so you just leave it sitting in the cup but the spoon is too tall for the cup and it falls over.

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"I'll start tomorrow..." wake up and it has been a year later and I still haven't done it.

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When something you're sat on makes a noise that sounds like a FART. So you try and do the noise again, to make sure people are aware that the noise was the chair and not you!

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When I'm walking at night, I put up my hood and grin evilly at passing cars so it'll scare the drivers if they see

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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Accidentally make a weird noise and quickly turn around frantically to see if anyone else hear it.

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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I really don't know what to do when i see a double post on here. I mean, i get that people like to do stuff with their feet when their in bed, but somehow al lot of these people do not find it enough to vote up an existing post.

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whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

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My most intimate moments are constantly interrupted by the same thought..."oh, God...what if there is a secret security cam in here...CUT TO: oh God...can my dead grandparents see me now????"

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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When I am listening to my ipod in the car or on a bus, i always remove an earphone to check if i am breathing really loudly.

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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When I loose something , I buy a new one, then continue to find the old one the next day.

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If I'm home alone, I tell myself good night when I am getting cozy in bed. I even use my name.

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I try to move inanimate objects/set things on fire/control the elements with my mind.

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When I look at a digital clock, i try to rearrange the number to make them a math equation

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hurting your foot and running around trying not to think of the pain!

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I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.