close the fridge door really slowly just so you can see the light turn off

When I'm bored I throw a plastic bag in the air and see how long I can keep it from touching the ground.

Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

I hug-squeeze the bread to get all the air out before putting it away.

Suddenly thinking that this is all a dream, and having to pinch yourself to make sure it isn´t. Or is it?

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

Every time i take a drink from a cup, i rotate the cup so i never drink from the same place.

invent arguments in my head with people to hone my debate skills for future arguments.

Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

When I'm about to go to the bathroom, I think of a million things that I have to do and try to do them all before I pee my pants.

Wait 2-3 seconds with anticipation whenever a baby falls for them to cry.

Thinking about different guys and how they would be in bed, then thinking im a slut for thinking it...

Abuse your pet when nobody's looking

When I walk from one room to the next, I make believe that the room I just left exploded, and that I made it out just in time.

Stuff 13 chips in my mouth when no one is looking, bite 1 chip in half and chew it for 30 seconds when someone is looking.

Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.