SOMETIMES I SHIT ON MY HAND.... IN THE SHOWER

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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Laying or sitting down in a really comfy position, then getting up to do something, and when you come back you can't figure out the position you just had.

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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Smoking in the shower.

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i have my own way of eating every chocolate bar i eat, layer by layer

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Singing alone in the car and then stopping, scared that there is an audio recorder in the car recording you singing.

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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lie in bed, stare at the ceiling fan, focus on only one blade, and see how long your eyesight can follow it.

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Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.