I hold my breath in elevators

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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I don't care about gender stereotypes. Moral: If I want to like Pink unicorns I will like them!

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Before i go to sleep, i imagine all the things i would like to happen in the future, and hoping it comes true or ill dream of it

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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On YouTube when I go to like a comment or a video. I click the Like button 2 or 3 times just to make sure it went through.

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pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Pee in the shower.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

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After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Not get any thumb ups on a post. Turns out there really are some things only I do...

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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think about all of the things you would do if you were the only person on earth

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.