Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

thumb_up thumb_down -63

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

thumb_up thumb_down -42

When your best friend has a certain make/model/color car, you start seeing it everywhere you go.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Reach my hand inside the room to turn the light on before I go in.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,511

If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When nobodys home, stay as quiet as possible just in case an intrudor is hiding somewhere

thumb_up thumb_down +834

Create a little story/scenario in your head abbout someone you like or want to meet, while lying to go to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,029

When I go up the stairs, I always have to end on my right foot. If I have to, I will even hop on one foot on the last stair in order to land on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When I've had an argument with someone I'll play it over in my head and come up with new responses. Then, sometimes my reenactment will get so heated that i start yelling my new arguments, and geting even more angry then before.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,383

I eat ass

thumb_up thumb_down -56

wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

thumb_up thumb_down +76

Rapidly click the mouse when your computer is frozen, even though you know it won't do anything to help whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down +217

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

thumb_up thumb_down -41

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -111

Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.