How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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Write things on this site, because i cant sleep

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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when i'm in a really good mood i think everybody is watching and admiring me

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Use the 0.3141592653589793238462643383279502884 second rule

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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Write things in the air with my finger, and then erase the words with my hand.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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think that things u do aren't gross and when other people do them its disgusting

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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wen on this website go look at the most disliked

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When someome asks you a question and you can't hear them so you say, "what?", then they say it again and you miss it so you just nod your head and say "yeah".

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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pinch the tip of my dick when I masturbate.

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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When walking on the sidewalk, try to walk the same number of steps on each square without looking awkward. (now, this is sooo weird, I have no clue if ANYBODY has ever done this more than once)

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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In the shower, or just when I'm alone, I imagine having confrontations with people in my life and play out the entire conversation by myself, lip syncing the words with emotions and all.

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.