Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

I walk into a room and forget why I'm in there.

Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

Wonder if someone is ever doing the exact same thing you are at the moment.

losing something in the house, looking for it and then for some reason if I can't find it, I look in all the same places again

Wish that Mexicans would go fix things in their own country instead of coming here unwelcome and demanding things instead.

Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

Clicking Yes to "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service" without reading one word of that stupid thing.

Clenching my fists, imagining I have wolverine claws coming out of my knuckles

when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

I suck my shirt without realizing im doing it until people tell me.

Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

Get turned on lookin at my own butt

Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

I always wonder if anyone has a crush on me.

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

Whenever I leave a phone message, I feel like I'm leaving the last message I will every leave to my family in my life because I will somehow die soon. I've watched too much drama.

I flip the pillow at night to feel the cool sensation.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.