I set my alarm clock early just so I can get up snooze it.... One, two, three, maybe even four times.

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after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

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Pretend I'm much more popular than I am with people who don't know my social life.

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become increasingly panicked when its dark and you cant find the door handle.

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Wonder if someone is ever doing the exact same thing you are at the moment.

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pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud.

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Try to put in USB drive into computer, and no matter what, always ends up trying to put it in upside-down the first time.

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Open the fridge every 15 minutes, to see if there is anything new to eat.

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watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

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KICK THE CAN

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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no magazine on toilet? read shampoo bottle

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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I rape small children ;).

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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After learning a new word, I hear it used and written EVERYWHERE for the next week.

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When listening to music I imagine myself and people in a movie scene that fits the music.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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When you get lost while driving, the first thing you do is turn down the radio.

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I somtimes think about what I would o if I had a wish and I go into a lot of detail about it in my head and then realize it will never actually happen

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When you're in your late teens, you blare the car stereo when driving near girls that are walking. When you grow up, you turn the radio down in fear that you look like a tool bag.

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When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.