Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

When you get lost while driving, the first thing you do is turn down the radio.

When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

Wondering where are famous people and what they are doing at this exact moment.

I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

when im in a public toilet and my freinds outside i make loud converstation with them so they cant hear me pee.

Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

when looking for lost keys i return to the place they should be at least 5 times and look there

when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

pinch the tip of my dick when I masturbate.

When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

Accidentally try to downloade PC software on your mac.

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.