I don't like to sit with my back to the door incase someone or something sneeks up behind me, it's even worse with headphones on.

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I like to poo while smoking.

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Repeatably look at something ugly, even if it's ugly

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

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I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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Eat pizza backwards because the crust isn't as good as the cheese part and I want to get that over with.

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Laugh softly when you hear someone else cry

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If I'm home alone, I tell myself good night when I am getting cozy in bed. I even use my name.

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close the fridge door really slowly just so you can see the light turn off

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Hate when you finish a cup of pudding or something like that and you don’t want to get up to put the spoon in the sink so you just leave it sitting in the cup but the spoon is too tall for the cup and it falls over.

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I **** with no hands.

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.