I always save a bite of my favorite food for last so that is the taste I have in my mouth when the meal is over.

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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I pretend I'm a musical when I'm alone and sing about all the stuff I'm doing.

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I brush my teeth in the shower and use the shower for a waterpik.

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When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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Locking your pet in the room and forcing it to spend time with you.

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Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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When on long car rides, I always look out the window and imagine a little man running alongside the car.

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I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

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no magazine on toilet? read shampoo bottle

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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When I'm in the shower i let the water run off my arms and fingers and pretend I'm a giant god of water sending torrents to the miniature people below.

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Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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When I'm opening my locker lock, I try to beat the person next to me.

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Get that shiver when you're peeing.

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While peeing, I will sometimes flush the toilet mid-stream and see if I can finish before it flushes all the way.

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Playing TV in bed because if I don't I jump at every noise in the house and don't sleep.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.