When I look at a digital clock, i try to rearrange the number to make them a math equation

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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I apologize, when i bump against things.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

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When I'm in the shower i let the water run off my arms and fingers and pretend I'm a giant god of water sending torrents to the miniature people below.

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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Sometimes I wonder if my whole life is a hallucination and I'm actually in some padded room somewhere, talking to myself and staring into space while my real family mourns the fact that their daughter will never be able to live a real life...

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When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

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i masturbate with my feet

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Check the time on my cell phone, put it back in my pocket. Dammit, didn't see the time. Check it again.

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When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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Mispronounce a word that you have a billion times before because you couldn't figure out what it said for a second.

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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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hurting your foot and running around trying not to think of the pain!

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.