It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Look at a friend and realize that you have forgotten their name...

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Think the "D" in the Disney logo was actually a "G", and realized that thought process at an age to embarassing to divulge to complete strangers on the internet.

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before i poop so the water dosent splash

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

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i use dental dams

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Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

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I stay vigilant while i shower in case killer/zombies come into my house..

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Open a new google tab when someone walks in the room, even if I wasn't looking at anything bad.

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I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

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When you stop to tie you shoe, you re-tie the other so one isnt tighter than the other.

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Dip my pizza crust in my soda

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!

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I precisley fold toilet paper , so that I can unfold it and use the other side

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ask my dog questions then realize, she can't talk...

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squezzing moisturisure/tooth paste really hard cos the top is all dry and then a shit load comes out all at once

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when im on my phone in bed my phone always falls on my face -.-

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wonder if there are secret cameras watching my every move...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.