start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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when i know that friends are coming to my place the next day i clean up my room and then i'm like...oh i forgot to clean up i'm sorry, it's always in a mess...

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Pee in the shower

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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Sometimes I imagine how everyone would react if I died.

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Imagine the perfect video game and wonder why nobody made it yet.

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

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Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

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stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

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I pick my nose n eat it. I love the hard ones

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I never turn in a complete circle. If I did, I would have to turn around in the other direction to "erase" the first circle

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

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pinch the tip of my dick when I masturbate.

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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When I drop something, I stand there and watch it fall, I stand still because I'm afraid that I'll maybe mess up something else, instead of picking it up quickly. Am I the only one? ;)

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pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.