If I'm home alone, I tell myself good night when I am getting cozy in bed. I even use my name.

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Play as both sides on fifa

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

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draw little triangles while coulouring in to make it seem that theres not so much work -jesse

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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Having gay sex

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I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

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Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I start kicking the bar of soap.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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sometimes i close my eyes and i rub them to see psychedelic drawings

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.