Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

ASMR

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

Try to balance the light switch between on and off.

I walk into a room and forget why I'm in there.

when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

Avoid as many television commercials as I can

When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

People looking at me when listening to my Ipod. "Can they hear my music?" *turn volume down*

I always save a bite of my favorite food for last so that is the taste I have in my mouth when the meal is over.

When i'm home alone with the dog i have a conversation with the dog, sometimes in my head & sometimes out loud, in the voice that i think the dog would have if it could speak. Then sometimes i realise that i haven't checked if anybody else is home !

take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.