Realizing that when you look behind a shower curtain before using the bathroom and actually see a Serial killer, you have no plan...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Sometimes I make awkward eye contact with strangers. And I quickly look away. And then I look back. And then look away again. And I keep being compelled to stare awkwardly at the random stranger for no reason.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

thumb_up thumb_down -25

*Sees bug on wall while taking shower* *Splashes with shower water* *Bug slides down wall* >_

thumb_up thumb_down +155

Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Type in "Things you think only you do" then feel better that alot of people do the same stupid or smart things.

thumb_up thumb_down +152

When I'm about to go to the bathroom, I think of a million things that I have to do and try to do them all before I pee my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +182

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Wondering where are famous people and what they are doing at this exact moment.

thumb_up thumb_down +136

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

thumb_up thumb_down -132

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

thumb_up thumb_down +33

chew on the side of my teeth

thumb_up thumb_down -65

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

thumb_up thumb_down -22

if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Think of a bunch of "things you think only you do" after you leave the site

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Imagine the perfect video game and wonder why nobody made it yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.