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Parent Failure
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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.
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-13
Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.
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-68
Look at a friend and realize that you have forgotten their name...
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+1,055
Think the "D" in the Disney logo was actually a "G", and realized that thought process at an age to embarassing to divulge to complete strangers on the internet.
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+851
Put toilet paper in the toilet before i poop so the water dosent splash
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-98
When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming
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-54
Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.
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Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.
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+309
i use dental dams
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-67
Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.
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-35
I stay vigilant while i shower in case killer/zombies come into my house..
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+53
I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.
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-119
Open a new google tab when someone walks in the room, even if I wasn't looking at anything bad.
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+816
I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.
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-5
When you stop to tie you shoe, you re-tie the other so one isnt tighter than the other.
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Dip my pizza crust in my soda
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+62
When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..
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-27
eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with
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+33
Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!
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+784
I precisley fold toilet paper , so that I can unfold it and use the other side
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-32
ask my dog questions then realize, she can't talk...
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+49
squezzing moisturisure/tooth paste really hard cos the top is all dry and then a shit load comes out all at once
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+79
when im on my phone in bed my phone always falls on my face -.-
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+27
wonder if there are secret cameras watching my every move...
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+117
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.