Use head & "Shoulders" for pubic hair

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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Daydream about doing unspeakable things(killing, raping, beating, cutting, shooting, ect.) to the person you hate

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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See someone walking or in their car driving then imaging what they're doing next or imagine the rest of their life.

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Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

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Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

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Try to balance the light switch between on and off.

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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Sitting down in the shower

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

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I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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Before I sing in the car, I always have to make sure I haven’t accidently butt-dialed anyone. –Ikka

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Poop naked.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Make the water from your shower shoot from your finger and pretend to be a water-bender.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.