I can't brush my teeth with the toilet lid up.

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Pee in the shower.

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.don't like something because being scared that it appears on my wall.

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When I forget to brush my teeth, scrape off the plaque on my teeth with my fingernail.

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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I play video games with the controller under the covers.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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Mix my coffee with the spoon upside down.

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When I was a little kid and something scared me (i.e. feel like being watched when I walked through the forest in the dark) I began to sing... and then I felt somehow protected. Weird, isn`t it?

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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Make hand gestures when talking on phone

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Sometimes when im in my bed and trying to fall asleep, i don´t want to open my eyes in case there is a murderer standing before my bed.

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

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At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Have to take the phone with you everytime to the bathroom

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.