Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

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I only make the tv volume in multiples of 5.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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feel disappointed when i find out that a p0rn scene is just the actor's dream or imagination.

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

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Pee in the garbage at night when I don't want to wake the whole house up.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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After reading certain things on this website, I try them to see if they work.

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Write things on this site, because i cant sleep

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Fear that the CIA is secretly wathing you.

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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I always open up another tab on my browser, just in case I accidentally exit, so my computer can warn me that I will close 2 tabs.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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make mini paper airoplanes in boring lessons and pretend you are flying them

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.