Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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When you get lost while driving, the first thing you do is turn down the radio.

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When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

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Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

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Wondering where are famous people and what they are doing at this exact moment.

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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when im in a public toilet and my freinds outside i make loud converstation with them so they cant hear me pee.

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

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When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

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when looking for lost keys i return to the place they should be at least 5 times and look there

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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pinch the tip of my dick when I masturbate.

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When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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Accidentally try to downloade PC software on your mac.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.