Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Think that some of the posts here are pretty damn normal and how that means I am much weirder than I thought I was

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I piss in the bed every night

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

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I invented this game in the bathroom called "start peeing before the light fully lightens up".Its kind of a challenge because if i actually succeed i might not pee in the right place.

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*Sees bug on wall while taking shower* *Splashes with shower water* *Bug slides down wall* >_

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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See someone thats so hot all you can think about is seeing them naked all day.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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sit in the shower

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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close left eye, then right eye to see how things move....

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Go on this site to feel normal.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.