Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

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I cant ride a bike

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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laziness .... its all in the mind

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When I'm home alone I open random doors to make sure nobodys there

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When you're all alone, practice for an interview you're bound to have when you're rich and famous and say other people's responses when they are asked about working with you.

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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I sometimes have bad dreams that for some reason I don't want to wake up from because I just want to see what happens next

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See the person you like at school, have a quick random sexual thought about them, le random boner appears, and you flip out in your mind

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I don't like to sit with my back to the door incase someone or something sneeks up behind me, it's even worse with headphones on.

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close the fridge door really slowly just so you can see the light turn off

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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When I'm in a place with two different colored tiles, I only step on the colored ones and pretend the white ones are lava or off-limits.

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Check the toilet paper after wiping your ass

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.