whale sperm

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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ask my dog questions then realize, she can't talk...

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In the car and sad song comes on you look out the window and pretend your in a movie.

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i cant fall asleep unless i suck my thumb...

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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When I'm doing a spelling test, I spell a word and read it over and over again until it loses its meaning.

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

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Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

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A song comes on that you hate but you sing with it anyway because you know the lyrics

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i smoke weed all day.

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Tap different rythyms with my fingers and keep doing it over and over until the rythym ends on the last finger

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Make pictures on the bathtub wall using the clump of hair from the shower drain.

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Laughing randomly because you remembered something that was funny earlier

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I wish I was born again, but I had all of the knowledge I have now.

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I always feel a little twinge of regret when I see "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service," because I know it's a lie.

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before going to a party, i rehearse the conversations i expect to have with the people who will be there (even though those conversations never actually happent)

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I avoid closing my eyes in the shower in case ghosts/monsters/zombies get me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.