Try stick to something but fail in the end

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If I hear a noise, it obviously means there is a monster somewhere in/near my bedroom and the sheets will protect me as long as they cover up to my chin.

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jack off

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When you think you don't hear someone, but as soon as you say, "what?" and they start repeating it, you realize that you know what they had said. But then you don't want to be rude, so you let them finish.

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I control water in the shower.

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I randomly highlight stuff when I'm reading something, only to click outside of the text so I can actually read it.

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Look at my poop before flushing

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Walking past a light switch, but miss when try to turn the lights on so you just keep walking instead.

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In the shower, or just when I'm alone, I imagine having confrontations with people in my life and play out the entire conversation by myself, lip syncing the words with emotions and all.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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My parents are annoying.

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Everytime I get new magazines or brochures in the mail I like to open them and smell them. Same with new electronics, I love that new smell.

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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When I'm fighting with someone and I've ran out of good points, I just start making random noises.

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When I post something on this site, I always do the thumb up at my own post.

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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My goal is to get as much as possible thumbs down at this post.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.