Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

When I'm walking on the sidewalks, I make a game of how to walk on the pavement squares so I don't step on a line.

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

only read the short jokes on this website

Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

I like to burn candles in my room and some times I burn the hair on my arm and smell it afterwards

Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

draw the sun at the corner of the page

When watching the news and see all those children and other innocent people die at wars, in my mind I shout at God and ask him why he doesn't give me the sign and my powers to save the world. J.C.

When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.