if im alone and singing to music, i watch myself in the mirror

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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Think something that you REALLY don't want to think and hurriedly force your mind to change its thoughts.

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Laughing randomly because you remembered something that was funny earlier

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Someone waves at me and I wave back...and then I realize they were waving at someone behind me.

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When im alone i have a conversation with myself

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While listening to songs, your always thinking of a situation to go along with it.

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When on long car rides, I always look out the window and imagine a little man running alongside the car.

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.