When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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Can't stand it if something rubs against my knees up the way...if it happens i have to rub them down the way with my hands or they feel weird

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I really enjoy self-pity.

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strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

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get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

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Get freaked out when door bell or phone rings when you are doing something you are not supposed to.

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Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

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Every time i take a drink from a cup, i rotate the cup so i never drink from the same place.

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Dancing while hoovering

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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even though you know you turned the light off, you have to go check before you can get to sleep

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When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

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try to cut corners in my house and hit the wall

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.