I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I start kicking the bar of soap.

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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Sometimes when it's very windy, i Loudly yell "Stop". The Wind most often seem to lower it's intensity or completely blow off.

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Before I go to bed I have to put one of my hands between my knees in order to warm up and get comfy.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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I buy books and never read them and get mad at myself for doing so.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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Wiggle my foot befor u go sleep in bed!!??

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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Show desktop when mom or dad walks in.

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When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.