Burp, and then automatically say burp afterwards.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Pick scabs and eat them.. and when i start bleeding suck the blood up with my mouth...

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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I keep thinking a thing is about to fall from the table even though it's not close to the edge

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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Sometimes I just space out for a period of time and completely forget that I'm breathing. Then when I snap out of it, I kind of breathe deeply because I thought I forgot to breathe.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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I approach balcony ledges with my feet firmly planted, just in case a random person decides to come pick me up and throw me off the balcony.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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I read the down voted posts

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When I see myself in the mirror, I have to make a funny face just to make sure my face still works.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.