Reach my hand inside the room to turn the light on before I go in.

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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I hug-squeeze the bread to get all the air out before putting it away.

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Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

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Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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I stop the microwave at 1 second so that one someone else uses it it beeps

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Fantasize about being with somebody else when I have sex

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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I have seen one of my submissions listed under "Quotes from other sites"

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conundrum.

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Someone asks you "what's up" and you awkwardly reply "good".

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

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when you can't think of anything to type you just type random letters. a;lsdfj;ldfkjsfasdfljf

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when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

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Rereading a text message 25 times before you send it to make sure it makes sense.

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stand in front of a mirror with your headphones in, and lip sync the words of the song playing to pretend you are singing in a music video

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pee in my pants on purpose for the fun of it

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Get sharp pains in your chest whenever you're watching or reading a sex scene.

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Putting your bra on your dogs dead

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.