Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

When I read something someone you know has written I read it in their voice.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

thumb_up thumb_down -109

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Pee in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

thumb_up thumb_down -39

pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

thumb_up thumb_down +1,572

when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

thumb_up thumb_down -84

I want to trade bodies and thought processes with my crush, so we could understand each other better.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

thumb_up thumb_down -58

I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I keep thinking a thing is about to fall from the table even though it's not close to the edge

thumb_up thumb_down +16

When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When bored, I often fold pieces of paper to make a little point and poke my fingers/hands with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.