I freak myself out during class/assembly/family dinners that someone there can read my mind, then just on cue I start thinking about sex and have to change my train of thought before they think I'm strange. Then I go round in a circle (clockwise of course) and scream their names in my head to see if they look so I know who reads minds.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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When I'm in a hurry I brush my teeth while peeing because I think it saves time.

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I sometimes have bad dreams that for some reason I don't want to wake up from because I just want to see what happens next

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How many times is it okay to say "what" before just nodding and smiling?

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pick your nose and eat it

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dont wash hands for the recommended 30 seconds

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Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!

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Sometimes, I skim through the Terms of Service just to make sure I'm not selling my soul or promising my first-born.

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I always feel a little twinge of regret when I see "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service," because I know it's a lie.

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when singing to music on my ipod, i sometimes pause the music to hear how loud I am singing.

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I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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Cough and shift my feet a lot when someone comes into the public bathroom so they know someone is in the stall and won't walk in on me.

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Sometimes I imagine what it would look like if I was seeing out of another person's eyes across from where I happen to be.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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while talking about someone, immediately fear they are somehow listening

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When no one's looking, I run up stairs on hands and feet.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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when i eat, i sometimes switch which side of my mouth i chew my food with to even it out.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.