say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Breathe.

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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Constantly look at all clocks when the minute hand/digit reads '11'

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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Hate when you finish a cup of pudding or something like that and you don’t want to get up to put the spoon in the sink so you just leave it sitting in the cup but the spoon is too tall for the cup and it falls over.

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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Think the "D" in the Disney logo was actually a "G", and realized that thought process at an age to embarassing to divulge to complete strangers on the internet.

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When you get out of the shower and you're too lazy to get dressed, so you just hang around in a towel.

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When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

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Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.