In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

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Reading the terms of service :O....

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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imagine squeezing your bladder in your hand when your peeing.

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Boinked my neighbor

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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When I'm doing a spelling test, I spell a word and read it over and over again until it loses its meaning.

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Someone waves at me and I wave back...and then I realize they were waving at someone behind me.

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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Open a new google tab when someone walks in the room, even if I wasn't looking at anything bad.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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smell your socks cause you like the smell of your own sweat

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I poke myself in the eye with a needle every Thursday.

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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Wonder if someone is ever doing the exact same thing you are at the moment.

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While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

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I can't trill my R's

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.