Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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I walk into a room and forget why I'm in there.

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Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

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Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

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Wonder if someone is ever doing the exact same thing you are at the moment.

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losing something in the house, looking for it and then for some reason if I can't find it, I look in all the same places again

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Wish that Mexicans would go fix things in their own country instead of coming here unwelcome and demanding things instead.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Clicking Yes to "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service" without reading one word of that stupid thing.

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Clenching my fists, imagining I have wolverine claws coming out of my knuckles

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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I suck my shirt without realizing im doing it until people tell me.

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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Get turned on lookin at my own butt

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

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When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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I always wonder if anyone has a crush on me.

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Whenever I leave a phone message, I feel like I'm leaving the last message I will every leave to my family in my life because I will somehow die soon. I've watched too much drama.

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I flip the pillow at night to feel the cool sensation.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.