Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

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Typing what you want to put in a message, then deleting it because you daren't send it

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I sleep in the nude.

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Mayada stupid

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

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Show desktop when mom or dad walks in.

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I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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I get angry when people use question marks where they don't belong. QUESTION marks are for QUESTIONS. Not statements or opinions >:( "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion?" X FFFUU- "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion." ?

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

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Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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Your mom

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.