when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

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Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

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Sometimes I read a whole page of text only to realize I didn't actually read any of it. Then I read it again. Sometimes this happens more than 3 times for one page.

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I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

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If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

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whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

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Write a post and then find that someone else has already said it, but in a different way...wtf I'm really annoyed. And they have more likes too.

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When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

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When I am walking at night, I see a slight shadow behind me for a second, I walk faster, I see the shadow again, I think it is some kind of scary monster and then I decide to run for my life. When I get back home, I realize the shadow is my shadow.

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KICK THE CAN

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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i see almost everything as a sign

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Making "X's" with your fingernail on bug bites to get rid of them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.