I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

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In britain,everytime i see a magpie i got to do this silly ritual and salute and say good morning mr magpie (depending on wat time of day it is) and make sure 2 ppl see it at the same time or something bad will happen.then someone will tell me another one i should do and i add it on! Its never ending.

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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My hoodie/jacket strings HAVE to be equal in length, or I pull them then restretch the hood out to make them even.

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Sit on the loo and think about life because I can't be bothered to get up

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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When no one's looking, I run up stairs on hands and feet.

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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I stick one foot out of my blanket so I'm not hot or cold.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.