When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me.

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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something happens with a person that u were close to but then they become an asshole, u get mad, and when u stop talking feel really depressed even though u hate them

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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I pee in the shower.

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.