When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

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When you can't be bothered to go to the toilet so you stay watching tv or going on your laptop while trying to hold it in.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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reading the back of the cereal box when eating cereal

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Pretend it doesn't hurt when someone I try for rejects me, but it does hurt, a lot.

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I eat spoons of dry hot chocolate powder when nobody is around.

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TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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On true/false sections of tests, I get paranoid if there are not the same amount of trues and falses.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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try to count down when the school be is going to ring.

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1.Open the fridge...nothing to eat :/ 2.Open the cabinet...nothing to eat :/ 3.Lower expectations..and then repeat :)

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When its nighttime, you walk around the house with one of your small animals in your arms, like it can protect you from anything

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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Checking out peoples cars to try and figure out what kind of driver they are.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.