Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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something happens with a person that u were close to but then they become an asshole, u get mad, and when u stop talking feel really depressed even though u hate them

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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When you get out of the shower and you're too lazy to get dressed, so you just hang around in a towel.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When you stop to tie you shoe, you re-tie the other so one isnt tighter than the other.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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seeing small spots in your eye (dust probably) and then chasing them with your eye trying to catch them

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when i get pissed off at someone i go to an empty room and then imagine killing them

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I sometimes wonder if im a baby and my whole life is just a big dream

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you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks

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Write a post and then find that someone else has already said it, but in a different way...wtf I'm really annoyed. And they have more likes too.

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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Reach my hand inside the room to turn the light on before I go in.

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Popping your finger in your bellybutton, and then smelling it. You secretly like the cheesy smell.

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When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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When I'm hungry I look in the fridge, but there's nothing good to eat so I shut the door and walk away. Then I look in the fridge again 10 seconds later in the hope that new food has arrived Robbie

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pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.