Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Am I the only one that thinks of things, and force yourself to not to think about it, then you hear people laugh or go "OHHHH" so you think that you said your thoughts out loud and everyone heard?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I use my phone's auto-correct to make sure the words I'm writing are correct.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I always twist my washcloth into a cone shape, so when I take my next shower it is dry and hardened. Then I pretend stab it into my stomach and say "MY LIFE FOR AIUR!" before getting it wet again.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

My hoodie/jacket strings HAVE to be equal in length, or I pull them then restretch the hood out to make them even.

thumb_up thumb_down +460

Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -113

I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Do sex sensations feel exactly the same for the opposite sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Being fat

thumb_up thumb_down -59

When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Try having a conversation with your friends parents but keep saying yeah the whole time

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

thumb_up thumb_down -40

When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

thumb_up thumb_down -145

i run my 2 fingers across a wall like they're ninja feet when im happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +313

I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.