Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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When I'm riding in a car, i squeeze my toes everytime the car passes a dotted line in the road or when theres a curb

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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Try to put in USB drive into computer, and no matter what, always ends up trying to put it in upside-down the first time.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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Stuff 13 chips in my mouth when no one is looking, bite 1 chip in half and chew it for 30 seconds when someone is looking.

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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sometimes, i smell my own farts.

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I like to food shop between midnight and 5 am

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When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

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On a calendar search for the picture on your birthday month

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I think people especially my parents, can hear my thoughts

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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When nobodys home, stay as quiet as possible just in case an intrudor is hiding somewhere

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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when i eat, i sometimes switch which side of my mouth i chew my food with to even it out.

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pee in my pants on purpose for the fun of it

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When I've had an argument with someone I'll play it over in my head and come up with new responses. Then, sometimes my reenactment will get so heated that i start yelling my new arguments, and geting even more angry then before.

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Think the "D" in the Disney logo was actually a "G", and realized that thought process at an age to embarassing to divulge to complete strangers on the internet.

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Sometimes I imagine what it would look like if I was seeing out of another person's eyes across from where I happen to be.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.