Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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I purposely try to burp as loud as I can in public. –Ikka.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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I'm in a hurry I press the elevator button several times

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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thinking that the 'writing comments procedure' on this website is extremely irritating.

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Sometimes I toot.

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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When I'm hungry I look in the fridge, but there's nothing good to eat so I shut the door and walk away. Then I look in the fridge again 10 seconds later in the hope that new food has arrived Robbie

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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I chew my ice cream.

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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open the fridge A eat food B think

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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I dont know weather or not to flush the toilet at night incase i wake somebody, its even worse in other peoples houses.

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.