Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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Put my hand under the pillow in bed to get orgasm

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Lay down in bed and get comfortable and then realize you have to pee.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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Thinking our singing voices are amazing, until we record it and play it back.

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Sometimes when I look at something up close, I alternate closing each eye and looking at the object from the other eye, then switch again. I do it really fast to make it look like that thing is moving. It's really entertaining.

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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When I wait for something to load, I right click and then quickly try to drag a box around the right click box before it disappears. Then I try to right click and drag and see if I can outline the right click box before it appears.

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KICK THE CAN

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When peeing, if I get pee on the seat I will flush the toilet before wiping it and then see if I can quickly wipe it and toss the toilet paper in the toilet before it finishes flushing.

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When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

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whenever im doing sumthing im not suppose to i feel like everybody knows what im doing

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pinch the tip of my dick when I masturbate.

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Turning on the dryers in the bathroom so no one will hear you peeing

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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Whenever I'm holding two round objects, I try to juggle them.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.