Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I have seen one of my submissions listed under "Quotes from other sites"

thumb_up thumb_down -103

I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

thumb_up thumb_down -67

when the teacher is asking the class something and i have no idea I'm looking at the paper in front of me, pretending to still making notes and thinking to myself 'don't take me, don't take me...'

thumb_up thumb_down -73

every bite i have of a sandwich, i need to have a sip of a flavored drink to "soften the bread and make it taste good".

thumb_up thumb_down -95

If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

thumb_up thumb_down +54

when on a bus, pretend to fail to see your acquaintances to get some rest and avoid boring conversations.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

pinch the tip of my dick when I masturbate.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

hallo

thumb_up thumb_down -17

when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Think about when im old and im dying and under what circumstances,and think will i remember this day when i thought of it and think,shit that was fast,almost like sending myself a message to the future...if that makes any sense lol

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I use the power-stance sometimes when I poop. It's where you completely remove one leg from your pants and put the shoe back on. Your legs can go further apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

thumb_up thumb_down +122

Laugh quietly to myself in public then cough to make the laugh seem like a it was a cough so people won't think I'm weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If you see someone singing in a car, then search on the radio stations to find the matching song to the the miming you see.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Have a dream about falling and never stop falling and it feels real

thumb_up thumb_down -3

thinking that the 'writing comments procedure' on this website is extremely irritating.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Say what even when u heard someone

thumb_up thumb_down +3

think your hitting your leg on a chair or desk, really someones foot

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.