Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

Typing what you want to put in a message, then deleting it because you daren't send it

I sleep in the nude.

Mayada stupid

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

Show desktop when mom or dad walks in.

I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

I get angry when people use question marks where they don't belong. QUESTION marks are for QUESTIONS. Not statements or opinions >:( "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion?" X FFFUU- "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion." ?

when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

Your mom

sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.