Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

Trying on other people's clothes at the gym/laundromat when they ain't looking!! (^_^)

I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

Pretend i'm a sim.

I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

I meow when my cat meows.

Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.