When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

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Go outside and pee.

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When your the only one home and you hear a slight creak be like I HEARD THAT to scare of any serial killers.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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if i put my shirt on backwards, instead of taking my shirt off and putting it on right, i pull my arms in and just spin my shirt.

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i pretend to have the ability of telekinesis and move things around my house , garden, playground...

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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Sometime i'll see someone or something like a person or a car and visualize a big meteorite smashing then out of nowhere.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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Have to take the phone with you everytime to the bathroom

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wipe your hands on your pants

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Create a little story/scenario in your head abbout someone you like or want to meet, while lying to go to sleep.

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I dip my pizza crust in soda

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Before I sing in the car, I always have to make sure I haven’t accidently butt-dialed anyone. –Ikka

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.