Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Dip my pizza crust in my soda

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Music is ALWAYS playing in my head. I can't go a day without noticing that the whole time a song is just burned in my brain, playing over and over. Is this okay? Im pretty sure im the only one...

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

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When looking for something you need, just walk in circles around the house until it appears.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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Pretend I'm much more popular than I am with people who don't know my social life.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Having a dream and forgetting it seconds later.

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Point your finger to the sky When your favorite comes on in the club or on the radio

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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I walk down the stairs sideways because I'm afraid something will get me.

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I like to create stories and adventures in my head to make reality a little less boring...

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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Walking with your friend talking about everything then you and your friend walk by someone you don't know and it gets awkwardly quiet

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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Get creeped out at seeing 11:34 at least once per day. The number even turns up everywhere in my life such as my jewelry store.

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In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.