When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me.

When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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something happens with a person that u were close to but then they become an asshole, u get mad, and when u stop talking feel really depressed even though u hate them

When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

I have autofocus in my eyes.

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

Love feet. like LOVE feet.

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

I pee in the shower.

Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.