pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

thumb_up thumb_down +1,623

When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

I constantly get itches. On awkward parts of my body. In public places. And it's torture.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Laying or sitting down in a really comfy position, then getting up to do something, and when you come back you can't figure out the position you just had.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Accidentally make a weird noise and quickly turn around frantically to see if anyone else hear it.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Pretending I'm in a phone call when I don't want someone to talk to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -102

Give vocal commentary on the song I just played when I'm the only one in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I talk to myself while playing games so I don't feel lonley!

thumb_up thumb_down -126

When In the car, use th bug guts to ramp up all of the culverts and when you don't have a landing for a while, pretend that you got a speed bonus and are soaring with some amazing air.-dillon

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I gotta get down of Friday

thumb_up thumb_down -77

avoid using ketchup and mayo since they make everything taste like um... ketchup and mayo... which is kind of boring

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

See someone thats so hot all you can think about is seeing them naked all day.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Getting the strong urge to "woo" or scream in a large and quiet crowd, such as during church.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Put my hands together the 'other' way

thumb_up thumb_down -106

When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.