before going to a party, i rehearse the conversations i expect to have with the people who will be there (even though those conversations never actually happent)

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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When I'm listening to my ipod on a road trip I look out the window longingly and pretend to be in a music video

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

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Change my music to something cooler than the song im listening to when i pass by other kids my age

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When I'm on Facebook, I flip between someone's most recent profile picture and their first one, just to see how much they've changed.

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When I sneeze I hold my balls ( only when Im alone)

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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sometimes i sing and when i do , i make drum sounds with my teeth and you know, all that stuff

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Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

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Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

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Wanting something so much. Getting it then wondering what to do next

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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when i eat, i sometimes switch which side of my mouth i chew my food with to even it out.

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When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

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when i realise for example that my shoes are stinking i get really paranoid and try to cover them under the table or something because i feel that everyone is thinking about it or is covering their nose or stuff

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.