pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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when someone mispronounces something I say the correct pronunciation quietly under my breath so it doesn't bother me

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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When the hero of a movie is drowning I hold my breath to see if I would survive.

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pee in my pants on purpose for the fun of it

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I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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sing really loud to songs in the car, but stop when people are right next to you at stoplights.

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Popping your finger in your bellybutton, and then smelling it. You secretly like the cheesy smell.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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sometimes, i smell my own farts.

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Look at a word long enough to not seem like a word anymore, then sounding weird.

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My hoodie/jacket strings HAVE to be equal in length, or I pull them then restretch the hood out to make them even.

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disgusted by people that are obsessed with poo and pee

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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Before I go to bed at night, I close the closet door so the monsters inside don't come get me while I'm sleeping.

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oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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During an assembly, I try to be the last one to clap/ stand up/ sit down.

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.