humiliating little girls

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Laugh softly when you hear someone else cry

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When I look at a digital clock, i try to rearrange the number to make them a math equation

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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I'm constantly struck with this odd sensation that I didn't wipe my ass well enough.

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Sometimes, I skim through the Terms of Service just to make sure I'm not selling my soul or promising my first-born.

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A song comes on that you hate but you sing with it anyway because you know the lyrics

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hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

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while talking about someone, immediately fear they are somehow listening

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Try and accomplish something before the timer on the microwave beeps :)

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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I always save a bite of my favorite food for last so that is the taste I have in my mouth when the meal is over.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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When I'm hungry I look in the fridge, but there's nothing good to eat so I shut the door and walk away. Then I look in the fridge again 10 seconds later in the hope that new food has arrived Robbie

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

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Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Try to balance the light switch between on and off.

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One time I went to my old primary school and while I was there I needed the toilet. So I go use the schools and was shocked at how small everything was I guess because I haven't been there in a while

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.