Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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reading thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com at the office when you're supposed to be working then checking that the guy next to you doesn't notice. and quickly clicking a different tab when someone is walking or standing nearby.

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Whenever I'm holding two round objects, I try to juggle them.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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Love the Twilight books, HATE the movies.

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Always think good thoughts before I go to bed so that I have good dreams

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i don't have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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Laugh harder when trying to explain what you are laughing about

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when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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Pee in the shower

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If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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When I walk from one room to the next, I make believe that the room I just left exploded, and that I made it out just in time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.