When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

Go outside and pee.

When your the only one home and you hear a slight creak be like I HEARD THAT to scare of any serial killers.

don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

if i put my shirt on backwards, instead of taking my shirt off and putting it on right, i pull my arms in and just spin my shirt.

i pretend to have the ability of telekinesis and move things around my house , garden, playground...

In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

Sometime i'll see someone or something like a person or a car and visualize a big meteorite smashing then out of nowhere.

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

Have to take the phone with you everytime to the bathroom

wipe your hands on your pants

Create a little story/scenario in your head abbout someone you like or want to meet, while lying to go to sleep.

I dip my pizza crust in soda

CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

Before I sing in the car, I always have to make sure I haven’t accidently butt-dialed anyone. –Ikka

When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.