After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

I plan to put money away everyday but never seem to do it.

I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

Making "X's" with your fingernail on bug bites to get rid of them.

when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

I was the real Stig...

I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

Write a post and then find that someone else has already said it, but in a different way...wtf I'm really annoyed. And they have more likes too.

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

play with a laser pointer and pretend its a lightsaber

I can't brush my teeth with the toilet lid up.

Not doing any work Feel guilty about it Then still do no work

I say my first name every night before I go to sleep because I want it to be the last thing I say before I die.

I sometimes have bad dreams that for some reason I don't want to wake up from because I just want to see what happens next

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.