Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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I'm really picky about how I earn money

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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Walking around near loud music and begin to feel like your walking to the beat.

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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After learning a new word, I hear it used and written EVERYWHERE for the next week.

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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Show desktop when mom or dad walks in.

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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People looking at me when listening to my Ipod. "Can they hear my music?" *turn volume down*

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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This song will not come out of my head!

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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When a teacher at school leaves a line of pen on the big whiteboard, my attention can NOT be drawn from it.

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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I wish I can go somewhere where there is no influences trying to get me to buy a product or be a certain way

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.