Every time I watch the movie I cry when the babysitter sings that song in the blues bar in the movie "Adventures In Babysitting"

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

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Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

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Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Smile like a damn dork when I watch romantic movies.

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when i know that friends are coming to my place the next day i clean up my room and then i'm like...oh i forgot to clean up i'm sorry, it's always in a mess...

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Walk around aimlessly when talking on the phone.

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When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

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has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

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Sometimes I unintentionally mouth the words being spoken on TV.

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after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Go to someone's house and go and ask where something is and the person you ask just tells you without getting up (I know it doesn't go with the theme of this site but its just something annoying)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.