pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

when someone mispronounces something I say the correct pronunciation quietly under my breath so it doesn't bother me

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

When the hero of a movie is drowning I hold my breath to see if I would survive.

pee in my pants on purpose for the fun of it

I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

sing really loud to songs in the car, but stop when people are right next to you at stoplights.

Popping your finger in your bellybutton, and then smelling it. You secretly like the cheesy smell.

The older I get the more honest I get

sometimes, i smell my own farts.

Look at a word long enough to not seem like a word anymore, then sounding weird.

My hoodie/jacket strings HAVE to be equal in length, or I pull them then restretch the hood out to make them even.

disgusted by people that are obsessed with poo and pee

When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

Before I go to bed at night, I close the closet door so the monsters inside don't come get me while I'm sleeping.

oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

During an assembly, I try to be the last one to clap/ stand up/ sit down.

im going to kill that person and get away with it

thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.