Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

thumb_up thumb_down -71

After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Gotta sleep with a fan.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

If I'm home alone, I tell myself good night when I am getting cozy in bed. I even use my name.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Saving some leftovers of your favorite food .... the next week its still there (:

thumb_up thumb_down -60

I lie in bed and when I get bored I try to convince myself that I'm lying at the other end

thumb_up thumb_down -8

repeat what you just said 2 seconds ago in a group conversation thinking no one heard you

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Pee in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -8

In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Pretend that i don't care about my birthday when i actually can't wait to see what present people will get me and get terribly excited everytime someone text me

thumb_up thumb_down +89

draw pictures on the mirror from the shower steam

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I brace myself and close my eyes when I send an email to my teachers or parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Know you have enough milk in your cereal when you start to see it peek through the cracks

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

thumb_up thumb_down -45

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.