When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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Read for hours... then hear a narrative for everything you do after you stop reading. for ex: "Jen gets out of the car, shutting it with a loud bang. She walks towards the house, noticing the dead squirrel in the road."

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when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.