pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

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When I'm in a place with two different colored tiles, I only step on the colored ones and pretend the white ones are lava or off-limits.

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Someone asks a question and you say "what?" and then answer them because you actually heard but didn't realize it.

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pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud.

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Looking at these in school when it's dead silent and trying so hard not to laugh so you won't get yelled at.

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Turn the Microwave off at 1 second

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Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!

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when i have to go down stairs at night, i have to sprint up the stairs in case there are ghosts/monsters never dangle my feet over the bed in case something tickles/touches them

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when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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I think about other women when having sex

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close one eye or the other to move an object near by when I'm bored -Noel

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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humiliating little girls

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during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

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When ever a door is about to close I always try to put my hand between the door and stop it, but it gets to small and I get scared.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.