Dip my pizza crust in my soda

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

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pinch the tip of my dick when I masturbate.

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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Think that some of the posts here are pretty damn normal and how that means I am much weirder than I thought I was

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

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At the gym, I always try to do 5 pounds more than the previous person.

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When you can't be bothered to go to the toilet so you stay watching tv or going on your laptop while trying to hold it in.

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Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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I start doing some of the weird things I wouldn't have thought of doing if I hadn't I read them on this website.

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Whenever I am in a conversation with someone, be it a family member, close friend, or stranger, I nearly always imagine either starting a random brawl with them for no reason (i.e. punching them in the face) or making out with them or something, neither of which I would ever consider doing. Am I alone?

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

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I tuck all sides of the blanket under my body and feet then over my head and leave a fresh air hole so im in a cocoon of blanket.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.