To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

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Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

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As im about to fall asleep sometimes i feel like im falling and then i have a muscle spasem and wake up.

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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I really enjoy self-pity.

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when i'm in a really good mood i think everybody is watching and admiring me

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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Suddenly thinking that this is all a dream, and having to pinch yourself to make sure it isn´t. Or is it?

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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when someone is playing a song which i really like but don't know the name of it i either try to guess the name by the lyrics or i try to read the name from their iPod without them noticing and then immediately make a note on my mobile and saving it.

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.