I have an irrational fear of sloths

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do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I die during an online game I try to cram as much food and drink in my mouth as I can before I respawn. If I have no food I roll all over the bed.

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I twist my pubes into little spikes when I pee.

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Sitting on a table at school and looking at the things u only think i do website

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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I pee in the shower. :3

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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Play as both sides on fifa

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Erasing the history cache on the computer after visiting an x rated website.

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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When I read something someone you know has written I read it in their voice.

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.