Suck up stuff with the vacuum you know you shouldn't because your too lazy to pick it up.

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I think people especially my parents, can hear my thoughts

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When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

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I stand under my ceiling fan, looking up while spinning around to make it look still...

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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When I have headphones in, I wonder if my swallowing is extremely loud for everyone else too.

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While listening to music, I imagine an insanely huge dance number to go along with it.

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Automatically lie to your dentist when they ask if you floss

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When I'm bored I think of what it would be like to be a women.

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When im in a room alone on the computer i like to put on songs and lip sync to them in the mirror with really emotional expressions..

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whenever I lucid dream, I find that I don't do much

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Pull the curtain right to the end so there are no gaps just in case some weirdo at night decides to look in my window.

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I'm starting to ignore Hollywood, the news and experts opinions more and more.

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Tried to stuff yourself in the fridge

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feel special if I don't get thumbs up on my posts

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While waiting on someone I check my phone and if there is no new message I just read old ones, just to be occupied and don't look stupid or lost

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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"I'll start tomorrow..." wake up and it has been a year later and I still haven't done it.

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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Wonder if certain people can read my mind... start thinking weird stuff and try to stop.

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think your hitting your leg on a chair or desk, really someones foot

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.