Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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Poking your eye to see the black circle at the corner of your eye

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Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

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I eat ice creams from the bottom of the cone to the top.

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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When does eating pop corn, take apart the bag and lick all the extra butter.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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when baking cookies I eat waaayyy too much of the dough, to the point that I don't even want any of the cookies when I am finished baking them.

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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fart

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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I always think I have special powers

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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I like to poo while smoking.

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.