When on long car rides, I always look out the window and imagine a little man running alongside the car.

I cover my webcam on my when I fap in fear that someone/something is watching.

I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

Someone waves at me and I wave back...and then I realize they were waving at someone behind me.

Typing what you want to put in a message, then deleting it because you daren't send it

Go up stairs two steps at a time. Avoid those stairs forever if there are an odd number and I have to end in a single step.

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

Sometimes I imagine what it would look like if I was seeing out of another person's eyes across from where I happen to be.

When tapping, I always have to do the same pattern of taps, and I feel incomplete if I don't finish the pattern I started.

Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

If I read that someone said something a certain way in a book I try to mimic their voice.

I find it really hard to not respond a insulting youtube comment with a hopefully even bigger insult.

Think about the things you could do if you had the power to stop the time.

Look at a friend and realize that you have forgotten their name...

Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

When I'm in the shower i let the water run off my arms and fingers and pretend I'm a giant god of water sending torrents to the miniature people below.

I walk into a room and forget why I'm in there.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.