Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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I shove food in my face like an animal when I'm home alone instead of eating like a normal person.

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I carry more money in my wallet than it appears, I just tuck some away because I think that if I can't see it and have to go through the trouble to get it out- then I won't spend it.

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I pretend I'm a musical when I'm alone and sing about all the stuff I'm doing.

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you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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????????????????????C?????????

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mindlessly touch my laptop or desktop PC's screen after having just used a tablet.

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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When pooping I always fold my TP before. Anyone else do that? I also always have 4 squares each XD Email me if you do it :P mr.michaelgiorgio@gmail.com

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Sometimes when you are looking down at a book or something you look up because you think you saw a person. Nope it was a tall lamp with a coat hung on it. Find youself periodically looking up every 5 minutes to make sure.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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i don't have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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Think "When are we ever going to use this in our life?" while sitting bored in school.

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.