I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

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Make funny fish faces and noises in the mirror just because... Oh yeah, and fish totally make noise, right?

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to a random person having a conversation with them (in the car for instance) I imagine myself reaching out and holding their hand. I then get super embarrassed just for having the thought.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

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Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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Read shampoo bottle when no magazine in bathroom.

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.