When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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Sometimes I wonder if my whole life is a hallucination and I'm actually in some padded room somewhere, talking to myself and staring into space while my real family mourns the fact that their daughter will never be able to live a real life...

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When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

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i masturbate with my feet

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Check the time on my cell phone, put it back in my pocket. Dammit, didn't see the time. Check it again.

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When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.

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Mispronounce a word that you have a billion times before because you couldn't figure out what it said for a second.

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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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hurting your foot and running around trying not to think of the pain!

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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Moral: Damn I clicked on pointless super powers how did I get here! Moral: I wrote the "thing only I do" below :P

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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Praying to God even though you tell people you're an Atheist.

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I unlike Facebook pages if they spam my wall.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.