Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Hate when you finish a cup of pudding or something like that and you don’t want to get up to put the spoon in the sink so you just leave it sitting in the cup but the spoon is too tall for the cup and it falls over.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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When I am walking at night, I see a slight shadow behind me for a second, I walk faster, I see the shadow again, I think it is some kind of scary monster and then I decide to run for my life. When I get back home, I realize the shadow is my shadow.

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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One time I went to my old primary school and while I was there I needed the toilet. So I go use the schools and was shocked at how small everything was I guess because I haven't been there in a while

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When the hero of a movie is drowning I hold my breath to see if I would survive.

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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hug the pillow at night so it protects me from monsters

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On the train, try and mathematically make (add,subtract,multiply,divide etc.) the carriage number to get to ten

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hate it when the bottom of you foot is itchy because it feels wrong to scratch it.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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I sometimes feel the desire to grab something fragile and - not out of anger, just because it would be funny - hurl it across the room to watch it explode.

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I sometimes want to eat spaghetti with my hands, but for whatever reason have never done it...

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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I lie in bed and when I get bored I try to convince myself that I'm lying at the other end

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When you buy a car you then see that make/model everywhere.

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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Smoking in the shower.

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Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.