Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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Go on this site to feel normal.

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turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

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Clicking Yes to "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service" without reading one word of that stupid thing.

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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I **** with no hands.

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When I'm eating cereal, if some of the cereal gets stuck on the inside of the bowl above the rest I use the side of my spoon to push it down back into the milk.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Attempting to start phychic conversations with people in public

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Pick scabs and eat them.. and when i start bleeding suck the blood up with my mouth...

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If I hear a noise, it obviously means there is a monster somewhere in/near my bedroom and the sheets will protect me as long as they cover up to my chin.

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I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

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when i have to go down stairs at night, i have to sprint up the stairs in case there are ghosts/monsters never dangle my feet over the bed in case something tickles/touches them

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I wonder if we're actually just dolls and are being controlled by some little girl in her little doll house ....

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.