Put toilet paper in the toilet before i poop so the water dosent splash

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feel special if I don't get thumbs up on my posts

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grab my cats tongue when he is licking my hand

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

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Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

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Whenever I slurp from a straw I do it a little bit at a time, slowly and steadily so people don't turn at me and give me an annoyed face.

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Singing alone in the car and then stopping, scared that there is an audio recorder in the car recording you singing.

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when being in the bathroom at night, avoid looking in the mirror

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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get annoyed by people singing a song only to show off their brilliant voice and automatically think that they cannot sing as good as they think they can

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i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

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must have the tv volume set to an even number or feel weird

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Close my eyes and squeeze them so I can see colorful stars and galaxies.

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When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

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Think that the shirts and bras that the girl you like should have never ben invented for that one specific person

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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When taking trash up to the street, I always runback as fast as I can, counting down from 5, pretending there's a sniper about to shoot me.

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.