Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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When you buy a car you then see that make/model everywhere.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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I think about all of the things of mine people will find if something happens to me

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Randomly flexing random muscles after long time of sitting at the computer

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Put on different accents, ad talk to my self in the mirror.

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When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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I stare at the paint impasto on the ceiling until I see faces.

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I really enjoy taking a shit and dont really know why.

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Turning on the TV for background noise when I'm on my computer.

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Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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when singing to music on my ipod, i sometimes pause the music to hear how loud I am singing.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Constantly look at all clocks when the minute hand/digit reads '11'

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.