When I'm in a place with two different colored tiles, I only step on the colored ones and pretend the white ones are lava or off-limits.

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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I think about life problems in the shower

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Reach my hand inside the room to turn the light on before I go in.

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When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

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When someome asks you a question and you can't hear them so you say, "what?", then they say it again and you miss it so you just nod your head and say "yeah".

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Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

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smell your socks cause you like the smell of your own sweat

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After learning a new word, I hear it used and written EVERYWHERE for the next week.

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I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

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Sometimes I read a whole page of text only to realize I didn't actually read any of it. Then I read it again. Sometimes this happens more than 3 times for one page.

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When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

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pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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Popping your finger in your bellybutton, and then smelling it. You secretly like the cheesy smell.

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pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud.

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When i play a video game and make some stupid noobish action including suiciding or playing in a lame way, i make sure that if somehow someone sees my screen, he/she notices why i do so.

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As im about to fall asleep sometimes i feel like im falling and then i have a muscle spasem and wake up.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

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When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.