toilet:a place for reading and going on fb shower:place for singing school:place for sleeping and fuck others.internet:place for shitting brixs.

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pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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When I'm on Facebook, I flip between someone's most recent profile picture and their first one, just to see how much they've changed.

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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seeing small spots in your eye (dust probably) and then chasing them with your eye trying to catch them

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k. everyone

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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Trying to take the same number of steps in a block of sidewalk while you're walking.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Post on this website, then give yourself the first thumbs up to kick-start your success.

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Get my belt loop caught on the door handle,

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you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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I always leave a little coffee in the pot so that it becomes someone elses problem

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I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night with a feeling that I'm falling

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I refuse to eat cherry starbursts because they taste like medicine.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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I can't leave the volume on anything on a odd number.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.