Put toilet paper in the toilet before i poop so the water dosent splash

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Sit down in a grass field... immediately start pulling up grass.

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Put my hand under the pillow in bed to get orgasm

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When I sneeze I hold my balls ( only when Im alone)

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I mouth common words and phrases, just to see what it looks like when I talk to other people.

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I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Look an ugly person up and down and try to think of ways that they can improve how they look. ( clothing, hair, and makeup)

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Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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Sitting down in the shower

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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Always fantasize about grabbing a cop's gun from his holster. Just because I am pretty sure I could.

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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I scratch the scabs on my head whenever im bored

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The longer it takes me to find the light switch in the dark the more frantic and terrified I become.

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.