try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

Sometimes I make awkward eye contact with strangers. And I quickly look away. And then I look back. And then look away again. And I keep being compelled to stare awkwardly at the random stranger for no reason.

I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

Sometimes I think the whole world is set up, and I feel like I'm living in some kind of Truman Show. I even sometimes say "I know you're there" to the moon.

Pretend I'm much more popular than I am with people who don't know my social life.

i run my 2 fingers across a wall like they're ninja feet when im happy.

Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

When I am bored, I imagine saving my crush' s life and we live happily ever after. :( what an idiot I am

when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.