repeat what you just said 2 seconds ago in a group conversation thinking no one heard you

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

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when something is lost you check the spot they or it should be at least 5 to 10 times

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when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

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I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

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When your friend tells you something, but you don't hear them so you just start laughing.

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when being in the bathroom at night, avoid looking in the mirror

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

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when no one is home I grab my sisters boobs she has big ones I mean it.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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Waking up from a dream that you thought was real life, and thinking,man i wish that was real...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.