toilet:a place for reading and going on fb shower:place for singing school:place for sleeping and fuck others.internet:place for shitting brixs.

pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

Kill Jb without getting aressted.

When I'm on Facebook, I flip between someone's most recent profile picture and their first one, just to see how much they've changed.

Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

seeing small spots in your eye (dust probably) and then chasing them with your eye trying to catch them

k. everyone

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

Trying to take the same number of steps in a block of sidewalk while you're walking.

When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

Post on this website, then give yourself the first thumbs up to kick-start your success.

Get my belt loop caught on the door handle,

you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

I always leave a little coffee in the pot so that it becomes someone elses problem

I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night with a feeling that I'm falling

I refuse to eat cherry starbursts because they taste like medicine.

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

I can't leave the volume on anything on a odd number.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.