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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.
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-74
brush the dandruff from my eyebrows
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-5
When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.
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-18
I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.
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-81
Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.
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-24
after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth
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-24
I push the door open with my stomach
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-8
I meow when my cat meows.
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-7
Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"
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-19
Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore
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-43
mindlessly touch my laptop or desktop PC's screen after having just used a tablet.
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-21
Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine
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-13
Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.
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-52
I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.
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-7
coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo
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-28
Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids
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-76
Picking my nose.
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-58
go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up
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+43
While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.
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-45
When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...
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-14
Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat
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-31
Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.
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-78
Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.
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-43
When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.
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-9
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.