DIY LOL
Clarksonisms
Tattoo Failure
Things You Think Only You Do
yo ima let you finish
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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.
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-84
After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.
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-32
Ask someone "what" when they tell you something even though you heard them clearly
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+37
Not expecting anyone to come over, some one knocks on the front door, mute the TV and hope they just go away.
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-44
If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish
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+52
When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.
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-78
When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.
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-50
Whenever i hear myself in a video or something to me, it sounds way higher pitched than when I hear myself talking Is it just me?
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+1,407
When In the car, use th bug guts to ramp up all of the culverts and when you don't have a landing for a while, pretend that you got a speed bonus and are soaring with some amazing air.-dillon
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+20
"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES
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+17
Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat
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-32
if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.
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-84
Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.
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-61
I always save a bite of my favorite food for last so that is the taste I have in my mouth when the meal is over.
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+1,687
when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.
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-9
Try stick to something but fail in the end
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-5
Try to balance the light switch between on and off.
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+1,877
Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.
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-50
Whenever I am in a conversation with someone, be it a family member, close friend, or stranger, I nearly always imagine either starting a random brawl with them for no reason (i.e. punching them in the face) or making out with them or something, neither of which I would ever consider doing. Am I alone?
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+175
I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.
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-53
Sit there with my hand just resting down my pants casually when I'm alone. It's comfy!
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+998
Made after doomsday plans
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-36
Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt
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-25
Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.
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-75
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.