No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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I eat food when i'm bored..

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I actually get stuck watching those rediculous infomercials late at night... Yeah - you're not alone. But no, I don't buy anything either... Lol.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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When I see myself in the mirror, I have to make a funny face just to make sure my face still works.

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If there's leaves on the ground and the wind picks it up and makes like swirls I put my arms out to make it seem I'm controlling the swirls.

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When no one's at home, the house turns into an action movie set. Going to my room turns into sprinting up the stairs and purposely stumbling to give the effect that bombs are going off. And always make it to the room in time to hop on the last helicopter out of the jungle.

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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I refuse to forward chain letters

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I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.