get caught up in youtube comment arguments

Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

People looking at me when listening to my Ipod. "Can they hear my music?" *turn volume down*

When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Make little rectangles on your desktop when waiting for something to load...

I hate people who shows-off their SLR Cameras. I mean, so you're a human now because of that?

Whenever I am in a conversation with someone, be it a family member, close friend, or stranger, I nearly always imagine either starting a random brawl with them for no reason (i.e. punching them in the face) or making out with them or something, neither of which I would ever consider doing. Am I alone?

watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

I imagine myself dying in the worst possible way more than once a day. I don't know...today, I was driving on a bridge and all I could picture was it collapsing and falling onto me, When I'm lying in bed, I imagine my ceiling fan toppling me.

Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.