Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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If I have a black surface I scratch my dandruff onto and make a dandruff galaxy.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Stare at people until they notice, and when they notice watch them out of the corner of your eye until they turn.. and then you continue staring

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Walking down stairs. Accidently miss last step. Feel like you're going to die.

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you wonder if things look the same through other peoples eyes

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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incognito mode on google chrome

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

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Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

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I look at my phone screen when i'm in an uncomfortable situation, and five minutes later i have to look again cause somebody asks what time it is.

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Do math in ur head at night to help you fall asleep.

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.don't like something because being scared that it appears on my wall.

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Ur mum

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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RAPE CHILDREN

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Eat something that will make crumbs over the sink because you are too lazy to get a plate

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.