Show desktop when mom or dad walks in.

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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Think of the best come-backs ever, a few seconds after the time to use them would be.

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You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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When you get out of the shower and you're too lazy to get dressed, so you just hang around in a towel.

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Shake my hands frantically back and forth when watching the microwave count down or the printer print, as if it will make them go faster.

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When I'm eating cereal, if some of the cereal gets stuck on the inside of the bowl above the rest I use the side of my spoon to push it down back into the milk.

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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sing in the shower

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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I pee in the shower. :3

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join online argument even though you have no idea what the argument is about

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Use the 0.3141592653589793238462643383279502884 second rule

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Remembering that you're breathing and then it stops being subconscious so you have to purposely breathe until you stop thinking about it.

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whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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When im blazed i like of all the stupid shit i did that day but always tell myself "its fine, i didnt feel dumb about those things sober"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.