When on long car rides, I always look out the window and imagine a little man running alongside the car.

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I cover my webcam on my when I fap in fear that someone/something is watching.

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Someone waves at me and I wave back...and then I realize they were waving at someone behind me.

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Typing what you want to put in a message, then deleting it because you daren't send it

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Go up stairs two steps at a time. Avoid those stairs forever if there are an odd number and I have to end in a single step.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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Sometimes I imagine what it would look like if I was seeing out of another person's eyes across from where I happen to be.

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When tapping, I always have to do the same pattern of taps, and I feel incomplete if I don't finish the pattern I started.

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

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If I read that someone said something a certain way in a book I try to mimic their voice.

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I find it really hard to not respond a insulting youtube comment with a hopefully even bigger insult.

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Think about the things you could do if you had the power to stop the time.

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Look at a friend and realize that you have forgotten their name...

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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When I'm in the shower i let the water run off my arms and fingers and pretend I'm a giant god of water sending torrents to the miniature people below.

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I walk into a room and forget why I'm in there.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.