When home alone, you feel the need to turn on every light/appliance so you won't hear the serial killer who you are sure hides in your basement

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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When I go up the stairs, I always have to end on my right foot. If I have to, I will even hop on one foot on the last stair in order to land on it.

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When your the only one home and you hear a slight creak be like I HEARD THAT to scare of any serial killers.

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im going to RAPEEEE that girl

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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suck my own penis

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pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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Walk around aimlessly when talking on the phone.

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

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I brush my teeth while im in the shower

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I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

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Whenever I read a book, in my head it all takes place at my own house, or some other familiar location.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.