whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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scream after your in the ooh part of achooh when you sneeze.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Smiling like an Idiot when you get a cute text

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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Say "ow" when I drop something or before I get hurt

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Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

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Lie in bed and wonder what happens whe you die, get depressed and come on this site for reassurance

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In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

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when I get a really good idea, I write notes in excruciating detail, as I believe my brilliance will quickly disappear and I will have no idea what I was writing about ..

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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I constantly talk to myself.

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hurting your foot and running around trying not to think of the pain!

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Open the fridge, nothing there, close fridge, open again just to make sure nothing has magically appeared

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

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When nobody's home I blast the stereo and sing as loud as I can.

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You pause while walking around your house when you're home alone because you think you heard a noise, but then realize it was just you walking.

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suck my own penis

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Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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I used to pretent my legs didn't work and pulled myself up the stairs with just my hands.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.