Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

when im in a public toilet and my freinds outside i make loud converstation with them so they cant hear me pee.

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Pretend to listen to iPod, but actually eavesdrop on the people around me.

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

When I'm eating ice cream in a bowl I stir it until it becomes like ice cream soup.

Sometimes I just space out for a period of time and completely forget that I'm breathing. Then when I snap out of it, I kind of breathe deeply because I thought I forgot to breathe.

When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

Go to get a drink and by the time you get there you already forgot what you were doing.

look at old toys from when you were a kid and remember how they taste.

I make all the faces on my money face the same way.

Make the water from your shower shoot from your finger and pretend to be a water-bender.

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

I stare at people to see if they have a innie or outtie belly button

Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.