try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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Sometimes I make awkward eye contact with strangers. And I quickly look away. And then I look back. And then look away again. And I keep being compelled to stare awkwardly at the random stranger for no reason.

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Sometimes I think the whole world is set up, and I feel like I'm living in some kind of Truman Show. I even sometimes say "I know you're there" to the moon.

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Pretend I'm much more popular than I am with people who don't know my social life.

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i run my 2 fingers across a wall like they're ninja feet when im happy.

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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When I am bored, I imagine saving my crush' s life and we live happily ever after. :( what an idiot I am

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.