When doing your hair or makeup you pretend your doing a tutourial when nones around

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

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When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

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After going to the bathroom, flush the toilet than hurry out of the bathroom and walk fast past a certain line going across the floor or make an imaginary line on the floor before the toilet fully flushes.

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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Smelling food to see if its spicy.

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chew on the side of my teeth

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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When you think you don't hear someone, but as soon as you say, "what?" and they start repeating it, you realize that you know what they had said. But then you don't want to be rude, so you let them finish.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

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Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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I have never disliked any video on YouTube with not many views ( no matter how bad it is ) because I feel bad for the uploader.

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Singing alone in the car and then stopping, scared that there is an audio recorder in the car recording you singing.

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Find something on this site that you actually do not do, and think how weird the person who wrote that must be.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.