Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When you get out of the shower and you're too lazy to get dressed, so you just hang around in a towel.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

thumb_up thumb_down -128

I apologize, when i bump against things.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -43

imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Fall asleep at night fantasizing about how you wish life situations would play out.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

thumb_up thumb_down -3

bounce when your tip toeing.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

When nobodys home, stay as quiet as possible just in case an intrudor is hiding somewhere

thumb_up thumb_down +832

have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Being fat

thumb_up thumb_down -62

When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

thumb_up thumb_down -11

For some reason I really love to be hated on horsehead network, no idea why, stopped questioning it moments ago... Moral: Know what I mean?

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

When walking along, I try to race someone walking towards me. For example, a letter box is ahead of me and there is someone walking towards me. I will try and reach the letter box before the other person without looking awkward.. then feel like God if I manage to do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Watch the same movies over and over

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.