In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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im going to RAPEEEE that girl

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i take words i just read or said and sing them to the tune of a song

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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When home alone, you feel the need to turn on every light/appliance so you won't hear the serial killer who you are sure hides in your basement

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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masturbate quietly in my room.

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When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

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I peel tiny strings off of cheese sticks because it's more fun and tastes better.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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When I'm in a place with two different colored tiles, I only step on the colored ones and pretend the white ones are lava or off-limits.

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When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.