pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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While peeing, I will sometimes flush the toilet mid-stream and see if I can finish before it flushes all the way.

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For some reason, I smile whenever I'm telling someone bad news or a sad story. I always try to not smile, but it doesn't work and I feel like a terrible person.

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Think something that you REALLY don't want to think and hurriedly force your mind to change its thoughts.

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A song comes on that you hate but you sing with it anyway because you know the lyrics

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Sometimes when im in my bed and trying to fall asleep, i don´t want to open my eyes in case there is a murderer standing before my bed.

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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At times I get the annoying habbit of counting the notes on a song on my fingers, again and again until it ends with five, if not, I keep doing it until it does so as to not leave a finger left out of the melody.

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Whenever I am in a conversation with someone, be it a family member, close friend, or stranger, I nearly always imagine either starting a random brawl with them for no reason (i.e. punching them in the face) or making out with them or something, neither of which I would ever consider doing. Am I alone?

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no magazine on toilet? read shampoo bottle

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lie in bed, stare at the ceiling fan, focus on only one blade, and see how long your eyesight can follow it.

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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I carry more money in my wallet than it appears, I just tuck some away because I think that if I can't see it and have to go through the trouble to get it out- then I won't spend it.

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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While listening to songs, your always thinking of a situation to go along with it.

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Popping your finger in your bellybutton, and then smelling it. You secretly like the cheesy smell.

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When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

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Always cover yourself in the bathroom mirror at home because you have this strange feeling that people at school are all watching you through your mirror~pls tell me im not the only one who ever feels this~oh well

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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I talk to my pet when no one is home.

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When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

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Sometimes I wonder if every thing is real or just fantasy and I get really scared,creeped,depressed,and Anxious

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.