Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down -102

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

thumb_up thumb_down -80

i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down -66

When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I never read the Terms of Service. I just click "OK"

thumb_up thumb_down +174

I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

thumb_up thumb_down -48

never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Use head & "Shoulders" for pubic hair

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Give a 'thumbs up' or a 'thumbs down' based strictly on how much you like the number it will change it to.

thumb_up thumb_down +269

when someone asks you to not listen to they conversation and your listening to music at the same time, in the same room and when they have that conversation, you pretend to listen to your music.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

smell your socks cause you like the smell of your own sweat

thumb_up thumb_down +2,702

Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.