get caught up in youtube comment arguments

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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People looking at me when listening to my Ipod. "Can they hear my music?" *turn volume down*

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Make little rectangles on your desktop when waiting for something to load...

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I hate people who shows-off their SLR Cameras. I mean, so you're a human now because of that?

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Whenever I am in a conversation with someone, be it a family member, close friend, or stranger, I nearly always imagine either starting a random brawl with them for no reason (i.e. punching them in the face) or making out with them or something, neither of which I would ever consider doing. Am I alone?

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watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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I imagine myself dying in the worst possible way more than once a day. I don't know...today, I was driving on a bridge and all I could picture was it collapsing and falling onto me, When I'm lying in bed, I imagine my ceiling fan toppling me.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

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I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

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when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.