I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When I'm walking I pretend that I'm staying in the same place and moving the world beneath me.

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when you are waiting for something to load, you go "please,please,pleas,please,please,please...." and the when it finally finishes you yell "YES!" OF COURSE, ONLY WHEN YOUR ALONE.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

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When I wanted to sit on chair or anything, I'll wipe them first, in case there is something sticked on them

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Breathe.

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in my mind, traffic cones are called VLC.

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Time a song on my MP3 player to be the soundtrack to something I'm about to do, especially in public places.

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When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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Change the channel during commercials when you have the remote, when you don't you go insane and say "TURN IT BACK WE'LL MISS THE START!!!"

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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in my mind prisms are called pink floyd.

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Go to get a drink and by the time you get there you already forgot what you were doing.

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When I'm riding in a car, i squeeze my toes everytime the car passes a dotted line in the road or when theres a curb

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.