Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

If I have a black surface I scratch my dandruff onto and make a dandruff galaxy.

When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

Stare at people until they notice, and when they notice watch them out of the corner of your eye until they turn.. and then you continue staring

Walking down stairs. Accidently miss last step. Feel like you're going to die.

you wonder if things look the same through other peoples eyes

getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

incognito mode on google chrome

A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

I look at my phone screen when i'm in an uncomfortable situation, and five minutes later i have to look again cause somebody asks what time it is.

Do math in ur head at night to help you fall asleep.

.don't like something because being scared that it appears on my wall.

Ur mum

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

RAPE CHILDREN

Eat something that will make crumbs over the sink because you are too lazy to get a plate

It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.