....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Think that everything has feelings for example, a cushion or a tree

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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I like to create stories and adventures in my head to make reality a little less boring...

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Having cool food in your house and knowing your boyfriend is going to call you around 6 or so, so you start eating said awesome food at about 5:57. That way when your boyfriend asks what you're doing to can tell him you're eating _____ and he'll want to come over.

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Liking the smell of your fart and Poo and denying it to people.

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when going to get a drink, i accidently pull out a bowl, or plate, later realizing what i did, i put it back, and get a cup

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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imagine squeezing your bladder in your hand when your peeing.

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you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

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Clicking the thumbs up or down when two of the submissions have the same number of thumbs up and think i'm the chosen one.

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when i realise for example that my shoes are stinking i get really paranoid and try to cover them under the table or something because i feel that everyone is thinking about it or is covering their nose or stuff

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When I sneeze I hold my balls ( only when Im alone)

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When I walk from one room to the next, I make believe that the room I just left exploded, and that I made it out just in time.

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Breathe.

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When I have to use my hands to eat my steak, chew the bones etc (do not tell me that so far this is weird and unusual :P ) I wipe my fingers after each touch => use a whole pack of table tissues :D

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See a persons name a place a word or thing in a book computer magazine etc... and right after hearing the same thing on tv or the radio. Vice versa

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.