I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Scared to flush the tolite at friends houses in fear that i will wake someone up of break the tolite.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.

thumb_up thumb_down -140

Accidentally make a weird noise and quickly turn around frantically to see if anyone else hear it.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

laziness .... its all in the mind

thumb_up thumb_down -75

My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

get really confused

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -74

If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When listening to music I imagine myself and people in a movie scene that fits the music.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I can't trill my R's

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Listen to music while browsing the internet, having facebook open in another tab, and randomly you hear facebook message sounds, even though they aren't really there.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Am i the only one who noticed that the title of this page has a grammatical error?

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Avoid as many television commercials as I can

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.