whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

scream after your in the ooh part of achooh when you sneeze.

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

Smiling like an Idiot when you get a cute text

Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

Say "ow" when I drop something or before I get hurt

Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

Lie in bed and wonder what happens whe you die, get depressed and come on this site for reassurance

In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

when I get a really good idea, I write notes in excruciating detail, as I believe my brilliance will quickly disappear and I will have no idea what I was writing about ..

After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

I constantly talk to myself.

hurting your foot and running around trying not to think of the pain!

Open the fridge, nothing there, close fridge, open again just to make sure nothing has magically appeared

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

When nobody's home I blast the stereo and sing as loud as I can.

You pause while walking around your house when you're home alone because you think you heard a noise, but then realize it was just you walking.

suck my own penis

Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

I used to pretent my legs didn't work and pulled myself up the stairs with just my hands.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.