My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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Dip my pizza crust in my soda

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When I'm watching something or playing something and the character goes underwater, I hold my breath until the character reaches the surface. This is weird as hell, does anyone else do this?

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Accidentally turning the fan on instead of the light when you walk into the bathroom and having a mini-spazz attack because the sound scares you.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

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When I'm in a hurry I brush my teeth while peeing because I think it saves time.

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Ur mum

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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When im blazed i like of all the stupid shit i did that day but always tell myself "its fine, i didnt feel dumb about those things sober"

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled.

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I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

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from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

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Doing something bad, then being ashamed because you think your dead family members watch you doing it saying tsk tsk

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it and pretend I am getting lots of views

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.