I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Sometimes I think that I'm a character in The Sims 3 and someone is controlling everything I do.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

thumb_up thumb_down +643

Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Make little rectangles on your desktop when waiting for something to load...

thumb_up thumb_down +1,097

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

I rape small children ;).

thumb_up thumb_down -272

When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

think something you shouldn't, then stop thinking it, because someone might read your mind

thumb_up thumb_down +1,339

if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

thumb_up thumb_down -97

to wake up from a nice dream than try to sleep again to finish it

thumb_up thumb_down +1,670

During an assembly, I try to be the last one to clap/ stand up/ sit down.

thumb_up thumb_down +525

Yelling my cats name in my mind to see if i can get him to look at me using the power of my mind

thumb_up thumb_down -104

I actually get stuck watching those rediculous infomercials late at night... Yeah - you're not alone. But no, I don't buy anything either... Lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Look at the clock, then instantly forget what time it is and look again.

thumb_up thumb_down +291

I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I pretend that someone can see through my eyes whenever I'm doing something cool, i guess so they think I'm cooler or something.

thumb_up thumb_down +199

Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

When I'm in the shower i let the water run off my arms and fingers and pretend I'm a giant god of water sending torrents to the miniature people below.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,228

I used to eat bath bubbles

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Look at a word long enough to not seem like a word anymore, then sounding weird.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,613

When im alone i have a conversation with myself

thumb_up thumb_down +1,527

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.