Any time I break something, I always try to put it back so it looks completely normal. That way, the next person who picks it up will have it break right in their hands… Thus becoming their fault... -Ikka

After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

Sometimes I unintentionally mouth the words being spoken on TV.

When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

log off the internet then think of something and go back on

Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

When you're in your late teens, you blare the car stereo when driving near girls that are walking. When you grow up, you turn the radio down in fear that you look like a tool bag.

Wiggle my foot befor u go sleep in bed!!??

While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

I have one of those automatic shower cleaners. After I press the button, it beeps 15 times before starting. I have to get out my brush, get out the hair dryer, plug it in, and Turin it on before the 15th beep. Every time.

See the person you like at school, have a quick random sexual thought about them, le random boner appears, and you flip out in your mind

Go on this site to feel normal.

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

Flush the toilet before peeing to see if I can accomplish peeing before the water flushes away. :)

Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.

I'm constantly struck with this odd sensation that I didn't wipe my ass well enough.

imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.