Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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I am a BIG TIME movie talker. I always ask questions that people obviously don’t know the answer to like, “Where is he going?” “I thought they were friends?” “Wait.. Is she mad?” “Is that guy the killer?” Although people seem to tolerate me, I do promise that it is completely on accident. I don’t even realize I do it. –Ikka.

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When its nighttime, you walk around the house with one of your small animals in your arms, like it can protect you from anything

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Sometimes when im sitting in class i start thinking how i would save the whole classroom if someone was to come in with a gun and start shooting.

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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get really confused

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Pretending you're in a tribute band when you listen to a song.

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

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If I'm home alone, I tell myself good night when I am getting cozy in bed. I even use my name.

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Love an outfit on others/mannequin, but hate it on me!

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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When i go to the bathroom i have to lift my shirt up the whole way.

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Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

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get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

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When i lie, i try not to swallow because i think they'll notice - John

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When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.