Any time I break something, I always try to put it back so it looks completely normal. That way, the next person who picks it up will have it break right in their hands… Thus becoming their fault... -Ikka

thumb_up thumb_down -50

After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Sometimes I unintentionally mouth the words being spoken on TV.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

log off the internet then think of something and go back on

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

thumb_up thumb_down -85

I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

When you're in your late teens, you blare the car stereo when driving near girls that are walking. When you grow up, you turn the radio down in fear that you look like a tool bag.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Wiggle my foot befor u go sleep in bed!!??

thumb_up thumb_down -56

While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I have one of those automatic shower cleaners. After I press the button, it beeps 15 times before starting. I have to get out my brush, get out the hair dryer, plug it in, and Turin it on before the 15th beep. Every time.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

See the person you like at school, have a quick random sexual thought about them, le random boner appears, and you flip out in your mind

thumb_up thumb_down -111

Go on this site to feel normal.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Flush the toilet before peeing to see if I can accomplish peeing before the water flushes away. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

thumb_up thumb_down -9

pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

I'm constantly struck with this odd sensation that I didn't wipe my ass well enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +523

imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down -61

You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.