Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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I avoid closing my eyes in the shower in case ghosts/monsters/zombies get me.

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When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Take out all the marshmallows in a bowl of Lucky Charms, eat the "cat food" (the dry cereal that looks like dry kitty food!), then put the marshmallows back in the milk and eat them!

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Repeatably look at something ugly, even if it's ugly

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from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

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when someone is talking about something i have no idea of and then asked me if i agree I'm like: oh yes! and then promptly changing subject so they won't find out

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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When someome asks you a question and you can't hear them so you say, "what?", then they say it again and you miss it so you just nod your head and say "yeah".

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being super bored at school

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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While lying in the tub the water gets cold so u turn back on the hot water with ur feet bc u are too lazy to get up and turn it on with your hands

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

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wondering if everyone else in the world can read your mind so you avoid thinking about specific things

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After learning a new word, I hear it used and written EVERYWHERE for the next week.

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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When im in a room alone on the computer i like to put on songs and lip sync to them in the mirror with really emotional expressions..

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.