When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.

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Saying "ow" even though whatever happened did not actually hurt, but you thought that it would.

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I flip the pillow at night to feel the cool sensation.

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Courtesy flush.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Whenever i hear myself in a video or something to me, it sounds way higher pitched than when I hear myself talking Is it just me?

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Think that the shirts and bras that the girl you like should have never ben invented for that one specific person

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People looking at me when listening to my Ipod. "Can they hear my music?" *turn volume down*

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Having to step on snails to hear the crunch

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Try to balance the light switch between on and off.

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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Walk around aimlessly when talking on the phone.

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When I'm hungry I look in the fridge, but there's nothing good to eat so I shut the door and walk away. Then I look in the fridge again 10 seconds later in the hope that new food has arrived Robbie

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I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

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My hands are always so cold and clamy at school, when I go on dates, and when im with friends. But, of course, when im at home, they.are.normal. :l

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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Tear up when I poop

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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Sometimes when my mom is aking me something and then i tell her the truth i start smirking automatically as if i'd be lying because i don't know how to make a serious face

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.