Teacher asks class a question, so I put my head down and pretend to take notes.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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I always open up another tab on my browser, just in case I accidentally exit, so my computer can warn me that I will close 2 tabs.

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Open blinds when taking a poop to look outside, then realize that someone could be watching you.

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Liking your own posts to make it seem like at least 1 person likes you. thinking that maybe someone will be slightly compelled to like it because someone already did.

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I find it really hard to not respond a insulting youtube comment with a hopefully even bigger insult.

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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Look at the clock, then instantly forget what time it is and look again.

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When I see someone I know walking toward me as I'm walking toward them from a long way away, I pretend I don't see them until we're right on top of each other, then, miraculously discovering them, I smile and say, "Hi".

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When ever a door is about to close I always try to put my hand between the door and stop it, but it gets to small and I get scared.

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when im on my phone in bed my phone always falls on my face -.-

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popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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Pee in the shower

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incognito mode on google chrome

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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I brush my teeth while im in the shower

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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I hug-squeeze the bread to get all the air out before putting it away.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.