I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night with a feeling that I'm falling

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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eat chicken, lamb anything with bones with a knife and fork while avoiding using your hands because it makes them dirty

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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Too lazy to exercise. Think to self "I'm gonna work out tomorrow." - instantly feel better about self. Still didn't exercise.

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When I hear a sound that I don't know what is, while I'm in an unfamiliar place, I wipe off and then touch as many surfaces as possible. It makes me think that if I'm taken by some scary person, my fingerprints will be easily found. I'm not sure why that would help in many cases, but it makes me feel better.

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Find something on this site that you actually do not do, and think how weird the person who wrote that must be.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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If I'm in my room and I need to fart, I walk into someone else's room and fart in there so that my room doesn't stink up.

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In school trying to do a small fart because it really hurting and suddnly a earthquake happens

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.