Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

open the fridge A eat food B think

Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

Admit, that most of your saved files on you´re computer have titles like: sdfdshleh / sjjs87 / sjflekeh

When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

turning up the volume in your car when theres a car next to you blasting a terrible song.

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

Having sudden realizations that you are a person who exists.

stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.