Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

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Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

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When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Say a word I just learned over and over again until it loses meaning.

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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Start browsing a list of pics at the back, so I can see the order they were posted.

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avoid using ketchup and mayo since they make everything taste like um... ketchup and mayo... which is kind of boring

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When I'm watching an episode of a show that I've seen before with a friend, I say a part that is coming up ahead and act like I guessed.

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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When I stop thinking about about something it'll turn out that I've been staring at someone without meaning to.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.