Whenever people dare accuse me of being too full off myself I tell them. Moral: I cant get to full of myself, the more me, the less you, ALL THE BETTER FOR EVERYONE! WE ARE VICTORY! (except you)

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When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

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I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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If someone uses a term thats like, in the know, and they ask if i know what it means, ill act like, of course ido, even if i dont, and then ill go home and look it up.

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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Courtesy flush.

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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Putting your bra on your dogs dead

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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I've had a problem all my life with people thinking I'm a boy, (I'm a girl) so when I first meet someone, my instinct is to find some reason, (however stupid) to say that I'm a girl, (EX: "Can you believe that people actually think I'm a boy?" like when I just meet them).

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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look at bins as i walk past them

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftcodes.info <

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I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.