When leaving a poop smear under the water in the toilet that doesn't get flushed away, I put a few pieces of toilet paper on the water surface to conceal it.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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When I get photographed with a flash and afterwards there is that little greenish dot in my vision, I keep trying to look at it directly, although I know that it's impossible

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get annoyed by people singing a song only to show off their brilliant voice and automatically think that they cannot sing as good as they think they can

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after doing the dishes i get my hands wet after putting my jumper on cause i failed 2 dry my hands propley my arms a f***** cold dammit!!

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When i'm in a classroom I think about all of the possible ways to save everyone if something bad happens.

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When no one is home or if no one is looking you go in the fridge and drink right out of the bottle.

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I'm 30, but to this day I still have fantasies about rescuing the girl that I'm secretly in love with from a dangerous situation. The fantasies get increasingly ridiculous, sometimes they even involve superhero stuff. It's as if my own mind was trying to let me know that I should grow the f*** up.

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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Point your finger to the sky When your favorite comes on in the club or on the radio

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dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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Start browsing a list of pics at the back, so I can see the order they were posted.

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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you look at someone and they look toward you and you look away quickly then you look back to see if they are still looking.

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Somehow can't find anything good to eat after going grocery shopping... even if you buy Oreos

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I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

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Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!

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Thinking about what you want to dream about while brushing your teeth at night.

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.