Saying "ow" even though whatever happened did not actually hurt, but you thought that it would.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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In the shower, or just when I'm alone, I imagine having confrontations with people in my life and play out the entire conversation by myself, lip syncing the words with emotions and all.

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pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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When I walk into the bathroom and the lid of toilet is closed, I always get slightly nervous to lift it up and see into the toilet. I'm always thinking there'll be something disgusting or scary in there.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Read what other people do that you don't, and think how weird that person must be.

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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When the car runs over bumps in the road on the freeway, they sound like horses hooves, so I pretend my car's being pulled by invisible horses.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.