Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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Thinking of something but got distracted for a few seconds. After that, I forgot what was I thinking about.

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Sometimes when my mom is aking me something and then i tell her the truth i start smirking automatically as if i'd be lying because i don't know how to make a serious face

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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I put salt on buttered toast...

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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Whenever I look in the bathroom mirror, I fear that I will see a terrible bloody monster standing behind me. I convince myself of this so completely that I panic and rush out right after I pee.

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Getting the strong urge to "woo" or scream in a large and quiet crowd, such as during church.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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Act like your on a cooking tv show when your cooking

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I never feel bored

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Looking around in disgust at your messy room and then doing nothing about it.

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whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

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when you are waiting for something to load, you go "please,please,pleas,please,please,please...." and the when it finally finishes you yell "YES!" OF COURSE, ONLY WHEN YOUR ALONE.

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.