I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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Realising that there are ASSHOLES posting dumb shit on this site.

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I talk excessively loud in public sometimes so people can hear my opinions. I'm just hoping someone's eavesdropping because I like the fact that they might agree with me and that they get to see a little bit of who I am. I don't even know these people.

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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I sleep in the nude.

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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singing along to a song that you think you know the words to.. but you dont

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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Wonder if someone is ever doing the exact same thing you are at the moment.

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I sometimes feel like I am the only one like me in this world

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

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reading thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com at the office when you're supposed to be working then checking that the guy next to you doesn't notice. and quickly clicking a different tab when someone is walking or standing nearby.

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Looking up 'How to tell if your crush likes you' to get assurance that he/she loves you

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When I'm on Facebook, I flip between someone's most recent profile picture and their first one, just to see how much they've changed.

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Pee sitting down so I dont have to aim

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.