Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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open the fridge A eat food B think

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Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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Admit, that most of your saved files on you´re computer have titles like: sdfdshleh / sjjs87 / sjflekeh

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When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

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Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

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turning up the volume in your car when theres a car next to you blasting a terrible song.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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Having sudden realizations that you are a person who exists.

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stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

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I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.