My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

Dip my pizza crust in my soda

When I'm watching something or playing something and the character goes underwater, I hold my breath until the character reaches the surface. This is weird as hell, does anyone else do this?

Accidentally turning the fan on instead of the light when you walk into the bathroom and having a mini-spazz attack because the sound scares you.

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

When I'm in a hurry I brush my teeth while peeing because I think it saves time.

Ur mum

poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

When im blazed i like of all the stupid shit i did that day but always tell myself "its fine, i didnt feel dumb about those things sober"

Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled.

I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

Doing something bad, then being ashamed because you think your dead family members watch you doing it saying tsk tsk

When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it and pretend I am getting lots of views

You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.