Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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I find it really hard to not respond a insulting youtube comment with a hopefully even bigger insult.

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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When watching the news and see all those children and other innocent people die at wars, in my mind I shout at God and ask him why he doesn't give me the sign and my powers to save the world. J.C.

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How many times is it okay to say "what" before just nodding and smiling?

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Pull the curtain right to the end so there are no gaps just in case some weirdo at night decides to look in my window.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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Always fantasize about grabbing a cop's gun from his holster. Just because I am pretty sure I could.

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I daydream about what would happen if my phone rang in public and I had a ringtone of a cool song and what people think about the song and if they think I'm cool for it, or if they see some sort of symbolic meaning in the song. I do this while pacing around my room listening to the song. I think about what people I know would think about certain lyrics in the song. I do this all the time.

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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When I'm fighting with someone and I've ran out of good points, I just start making random noises.

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When laying in bed I put the covers over my head and act like I'm in different places..caves..tent..etc..

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Look an ugly person up and down and try to think of ways that they can improve how they look. ( clothing, hair, and makeup)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.