in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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When I'm in a place with two different colored tiles, I only step on the colored ones and pretend the white ones are lava or off-limits.

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smell your socks cause you like the smell of your own sweat

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This song will not come out of my head!

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Spending the night at someone's house and waking up and thinking your at your house then realizing your not

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Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

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When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me.

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When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

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When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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pee in my pants on purpose for the fun of it

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Get random feelings of nausea and/or dizziness for no apparent reason.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Reading the terms of service :O....

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.