Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

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start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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Cough and shift my feet a lot when someone comes into the public bathroom so they know someone is in the stall and won't walk in on me.

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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I stare at people to see if they have a innie or outtie belly button

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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I brush my teeth while im in the shower

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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fap

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I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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If I turn in a circle I have to turn the other way to balance it out and feel even!

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Go through funny pictures and memes on Facebook, and then accidently miss one and ten when you click to go back you have to go through like 5 more to get back to the one you want.

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chew on the side of my teeth

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.