Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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make food scream if i chop them up.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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When you get lost while driving, the first thing you do is turn down the radio.

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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Wonder if someone is ever doing the exact same thing you are at the moment.

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Does anyone else's mouse hand get colder then their other hand when they're on the computer?

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squezzing moisturisure/tooth paste really hard cos the top is all dry and then a shit load comes out all at once

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Try to see nipples through body paint.

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Turning on the TV for background noise when I'm on my computer.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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Afraid to do something your crush is doing so they don't think you're stalking them, even though you really want to. -B

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When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.