Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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I count how many steps it takes to cross a section of sidewalk, and will continue taking the same amount of steps until I realize it.

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Flush the toilet before peeing to see if I can accomplish peeing before the water flushes away. :)

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Think the "D" in the Disney logo was actually a "G", and realized that thought process at an age to embarassing to divulge to complete strangers on the internet.

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Check the toilet paper after wiping your ass

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

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Reading the things people post on here and realising your not as weird as you thought.

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THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

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Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

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I say my first name every night before I go to sleep because I want it to be the last thing I say before I die.

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Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

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I never look out the window at night because I'm afraid there will be an Alien staring at me when I move the curtains.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.