masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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I talk to myself while playing games so I don't feel lonley!

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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wen on this website go look at the most disliked

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.