Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Whenever I order a lot of food at a fast food place for myself, I order an extra drink just so they think it's for two people.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

thumb_up thumb_down -104

At school I go along with the norm even though inside I HATE it!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

get annoyed by people singing a song only to show off their brilliant voice and automatically think that they cannot sing as good as they think they can

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Laugh harder when trying to explain what you are laughing about

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

thumb_up thumb_down -29

If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

thumb_up thumb_down -31

strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

I have never watched Star Wars.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

I type a comment here and secretly feel special

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

I'll sing nice and loud in the shower and wonder why I haven't come out with an album yet

thumb_up thumb_down +62

If no one else is home and you have to go to the bathroom, but you're invested in what you're doing on your laptop, you take it with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Agree with someones ridiculous political opinion just to avoid an argument.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

rub the underside of your ear lobe to smell the odd smell.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.