Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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I'll sing nice and loud in the shower and wonder why I haven't come out with an album yet

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If no one else is home and you have to go to the bathroom, but you're invested in what you're doing on your laptop, you take it with you.

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Agree with someones ridiculous political opinion just to avoid an argument.

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rub the underside of your ear lobe to smell the odd smell.

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Okay, so. I have this weird habit I've had for like a year now, and it's that I always have to touch things an even amount of times and touch them with the other had the same amount of times. I read it's OCD, which I sometimes experience symptoms of, but this one sticks out. Is this normal? What should I do? Should I ask if I do have OCD?

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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I am a BIG TIME movie talker. I always ask questions that people obviously don’t know the answer to like, “Where is he going?” “I thought they were friends?” “Wait.. Is she mad?” “Is that guy the killer?” Although people seem to tolerate me, I do promise that it is completely on accident. I don’t even realize I do it. –Ikka.

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Sometimes I wonder if the blue/green/red etc. I see is the same blue/green/red etc. you see

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When I'm walking I pretend that I'm staying in the same place and moving the world beneath me.

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Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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I delete all notifications on my phone before i shut it off.

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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When walking in a pub or a mall or any place which has music playing, I walk along with the beats thinking that I will look super cool doing that!

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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when i realise for example that my shoes are stinking i get really paranoid and try to cover them under the table or something because i feel that everyone is thinking about it or is covering their nose or stuff

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.