when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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I hate people who shows-off their SLR Cameras. I mean, so you're a human now because of that?

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I click that I have read the Terms of Service although I haven't read sheit

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wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Being afraid to up-vote the embarrassing posts on this page for fear that it might somehow post onto my Facebook.

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I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

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when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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KICK THE CAN

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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lie on the couch with my head upside-down and imagine what it'd be like to walk around on the ceiling, and if you were to flip the house over so the floor's the ceiling, what you'd have to nail down to keep in place.

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close left eye, then right eye to see how things move....

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Every time I open a door, I shout out "Alohamora!" and then I open it.

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.