Lay down in bed and get comfortable and then realize you have to pee.

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http://www.todayswhatsappstatus.com/

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Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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When you are looking over someones shoulder and they look at you thinking you are staring at them so you suddenly turn your head

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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I think about other women when having sex

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.