Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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I pass by closed doors quickly and at least as far away as the door seems like it can open, because I always feel like someone's going to burst out, hitting me in the face with the door.

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When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

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Try to pet your cat with your foot.

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I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

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When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

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Always think good thoughts before I go to bed so that I have good dreams

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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scripting the blackboard with your fingernails? no problem, but just the imagination of biting on an ice cream stick out of wood and then moving it through your teeth makes me go crazy!

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

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Look at my poop before flushing

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.