I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Sometimes I toot.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Videotape my mother in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Before i go to sleep, i imagine all the things i would like to happen in the future, and hoping it comes true or ill dream of it

thumb_up thumb_down -77

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

thumb_up thumb_down -63

while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

thumb_up thumb_down -20

sleep with your legs crossed like your meditating.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

thumb_up thumb_down -62

I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Look at a friend and realize that you have forgotten their name...

thumb_up thumb_down +1,053

Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.