Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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dream about the most amazing guy/girl that you have a relationship with and hope it comes true

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Looking at this naked with a cat on you're lap.

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tell everyone that you think that mcdonalds is unhealthy and that you think there food is nasty but in reality you actually love it.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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I try to accomplish things while waiting for the timer on the microwave can go off.

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Poking your eye to see the black circle at the corner of your eye

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Whenever I switch sides on my bed, I feel like when I turn around some scary clown face is going to be RIGHT THERE in my face

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I eat spoons of dry hot chocolate powder when nobody is around.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

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Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

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Singing alone in the car and then stopping, scared that there is an audio recorder in the car recording you singing.

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Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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when I need to do a number 2 in a public toilet I put toilet paper in there first so my neighbours cant hear it.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.