when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Sometimes I wonder if my whole life is a hallucination and I'm actually in some padded room somewhere, talking to myself and staring into space while my real family mourns the fact that their daughter will never be able to live a real life...

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I'm constantly struck with this odd sensation that I didn't wipe my ass well enough.

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laziness .... its all in the mind

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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stand in front of a mirror with your headphones in, and lip sync the words of the song playing to pretend you are singing in a music video

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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Stick my tongue inside the ramen noodle flavor bag when im dne with it.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Constantly check your post on here to see if other people give it a response.

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conundrum.

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scream after your in the ooh part of achooh when you sneeze.

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I actually get stuck watching those rediculous infomercials late at night... Yeah - you're not alone. But no, I don't buy anything either... Lol.

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I have one of those automatic shower cleaners. After I press the button, it beeps 15 times before starting. I have to get out my brush, get out the hair dryer, plug it in, and Turin it on before the 15th beep. Every time.

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Pretend to talk on the phone when you see someone you don't want to say hello.

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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Say you're not hungry at a friend's house when his/her parents offer you food, even though you're starving

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Breathe.

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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Every once in a while I think 'I know you're reading my mind...' and look about the classroom. See if anyone looks at me.

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when you are waiting for something to load, you go "please,please,pleas,please,please,please...." and the when it finally finishes you yell "YES!" OF COURSE, ONLY WHEN YOUR ALONE.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.