I **** with no hands.

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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i cannot watch horror films that have blood in it for fear of nightmares

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I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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close one eye or the other to move an object near by when I'm bored -Noel

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when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

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Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

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I look at this site and wonder if the thumbs up are all from people who actually do the same thing, or just people who like that or think it's a funny thing to do.

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

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Pee in the shower

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pinch the tip of my dick when I masturbate.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

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wonder who wrote these things

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.