After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

My parents are annoying.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

thumb_up thumb_down -13

when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -69

At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.