Think up a come back three days after it would have been useful.

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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I have to keep reading website pages until I reached 5, 10, 15 etc. When I get close to my age though, I can finish there.

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Ladies ; wear the thin underwear with the really skinny jeans & pants , & save the thick underwear for the baggy jeans & sweatpants ..

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You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

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I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.