if someone i like or want to impress is around i change the song I'm listening to to something that i know they like or something not embarrassing, just in case they ask me what i'm listening to.

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When I'm walking on the sidewalk, I try to count and keep a steady rate of how many times I step on each slab of concrete.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

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I play video games with the controller under the covers.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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losing something in the house, looking for it and then for some reason if I can't find it, I look in all the same places again

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Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

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Give vocal commentary on the song I just played when I'm the only one in the car.

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I **** with no hands.

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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close one eye or the other to move an object near by when I'm bored -Noel

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.