Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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I have a cat that drops on it's side when she sees me coming

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Having cool food in your house and knowing your boyfriend is going to call you around 6 or so, so you start eating said awesome food at about 5:57. That way when your boyfriend asks what you're doing to can tell him you're eating _____ and he'll want to come over.

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

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Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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Listening to music---You HAVE to grind you teeth along with the song.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

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FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAPFAP FAP ::TROLLFACE::

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Close my eyes and squeeze them so I can see colorful stars and galaxies.

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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I try to accomplish things while waiting for the timer on the microwave can go off.

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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whenever I come across a website like this, I try to read through every post as fast as I can. When I reach the end, I feel like I accomplished something but sad I have no more to read.

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popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

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I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

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Look up definitions of acronyms in text messages or Facebook that I feel I should know because I'm teenager.

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shag your mom

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.