Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

Pee in the shower

pinch the tip of my dick when I masturbate.

I can't piss with my shoes on.

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.

Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

wonder who wrote these things

Getting the strong urge to "woo" or scream in a large and quiet crowd, such as during church.

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

Shake my hands frantically back and forth when watching the microwave count down or the printer print, as if it will make them go faster.

When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

I hold my breath in elevators

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

Not answer a question or something of the sort Evan if you know you know the answer because you are paranoid that you are wrong.

every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

eat chicken, lamb anything with bones with a knife and fork while avoiding using your hands because it makes them dirty

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.