I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

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Sometimes I like to count the amount of steps it takes to get upstairs/downstairs. Then I realize that the number is never the same.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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Pick my nose with my elbow, that way I keep my nails clean.

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I think I have superpowers and sometimes I try to use them by force, like lifting a pencil with my mind or elevate from the ground.

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Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

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Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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Kick the fallen ice cube underneath the fridge

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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Abuse your pet when nobody's looking

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.