i see almost everything as a sign

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Eat ice by itself

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get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

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Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

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Put ear buds in nose, open mouth, instant speaker. If you don't do it try it.

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I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

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When I was younger I started doing a weird habit of playing music and spinning around in circles in my room... .. I still do it to this day.

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Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

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I always leave a little coffee in the pot so that it becomes someone elses problem

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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When I'm sleeping, I turn and my bed shakes, and I wake up thinking it's an earthquake.

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When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Forgetting the same word over and over again and having a spaz attack when you can't remember it for more than a couple of seconds.

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Your mom

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Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

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I've had a problem all my life with people thinking I'm a boy, (I'm a girl) so when I first meet someone, my instinct is to find some reason, (however stupid) to say that I'm a girl, (EX: "Can you believe that people actually think I'm a boy?" like when I just meet them).

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Walking past a light switch, but miss when try to turn the lights on so you just keep walking instead.

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Smell my fingers after I pick u pennies or unlock the door with my keys!

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pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.