hurting your foot and running around trying not to think of the pain!

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watch raindrops race down a window and see which one wins

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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I feel bad for not reading the terms of service on a website, because someone had to put a lot of effort into that.

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When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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I pretend that someone can see through my eyes whenever I'm doing something cool, i guess so they think I'm cooler or something.

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Put on different accents, ad talk to my self in the mirror.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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Know you have enough milk in your cereal when you start to see it peek through the cracks

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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when looking for lost keys i return to the place they should be at least 5 times and look there

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Secretly open a packet of something or spray some deodorant in a shop to check what it looks/feels/smells like. Then put it back and pick up the one behind because you just used/opened the one you were just holding.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.