When my soap is running low, I add water to it.

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Open a new google tab when someone walks in the room, even if I wasn't looking at anything bad.

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During an assembly, I try to be the last one to clap/ stand up/ sit down.

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Think up a come back three days after it would have been useful.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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You remember something funny. You smile like an idiot. Everyone around thinks your weird for randomly smiling.

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Say 'WED', 'NES' and 'DAY' slowly in your head when spelling Wednesday.

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I vote thumb dlown the ones that i dong like

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I avoid closing my eyes in the shower in case ghosts/monsters/zombies get me.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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Run up all stairs two at a time, and memorize all the staircases with odd number of steps. On those, I start with one step so I can end on a two.

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hug the pillow at night so it protects me from monsters

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i cant fall asleep unless i suck my thumb...

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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If there's a mirror i look if there's people around looking at me, and if there aren't it's ok to stare at my reflection.

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Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

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KICK THE CAN

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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get really embarrassed when i leave the book i read when i poop on the bathroom counter and someone uses the bathroom.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.