After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Whenever you are in a quiet room and are trying to eat a food that is very loud to chew (like chips) you try to chew slowly or alter your chewing style so noone will think your too loud

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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when someone is talking about something i have no idea of and then asked me if i agree I'm like: oh yes! and then promptly changing subject so they won't find out

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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I often wonder if people ever talk about me, when I'm away.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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When I have a good dream I can't remember it the day after, but I can remember another dream I had a year ago.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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arrange certain social situations with attractive girls just to make spank bank deposits.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.