daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

thumb_up thumb_down -110

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Liking the smell of your fart and Poo and denying it to people.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

I pee in the shower. :3

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Play as both sides on fifa

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I look for comments in this site that are on or close to 0 so that when i like or dislike them, i make a difference to the outcome :)

thumb_up thumb_down -53

every timee i type a messege to some 1 in chat i imaging what the othe person looks like-jesse

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whenever I look in the bathroom mirror, I fear that I will see a terrible bloody monster standing behind me. I convince myself of this so completely that I panic and rush out right after I pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Do sex sensations feel exactly the same for the opposite sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

When I'm on Facebook, I don't like anything in my news feed thats older then 15 minutes or else i'll feel like they think ima creeping on them.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Playing TV in bed because if I don't I jump at every noise in the house and don't sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When I'm about to go to the bathroom, I think of a million things that I have to do and try to do them all before I pee my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +176

Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.