When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

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Walking down the toy isle in the store, and feeling a little sad that you're not a kid anymore.

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When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled.

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tell everyone that you think that mcdonalds is unhealthy and that you think there food is nasty but in reality you actually love it.

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you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

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When your the only one home and you hear a slight creak be like I HEARD THAT to scare of any serial killers.

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While I am busy working I like to have music playing and while I type I type to the song and its beat

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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losing something in the house, looking for it and then for some reason if I can't find it, I look in all the same places again

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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trying to look cool when you're driving past other cars.

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Thinking about what you want to dream about while brushing your teeth at night.

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Get turned on lookin at my own butt

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Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

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I purposely try to burp as loud as I can in public. –Ikka.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.