carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.

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Get that shiver when you're peeing.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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I keep thinking a thing is about to fall from the table even though it's not close to the edge

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.