It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Does anyone else look at people when there talking and then randomly get in on there conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Walking down stairs. Accidently miss last step. Feel like you're going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

when going through this website only read post that have 2 or more thumbs up

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

thumb_up thumb_down +21

While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

thumb_up thumb_down -55

When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

thumb_up thumb_down -33

dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

thumb_up thumb_down -37

say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.