When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

If I turn in a circle I have to turn the other way to balance it out and feel even!

Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled.

Get my belt loop caught on the door handle,

Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

while talking about someone, immediately fear they are somehow listening

if someone i like or want to impress is around i change the song I'm listening to to something that i know they like or something not embarrassing, just in case they ask me what i'm listening to.

Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.