Whenever I look in the bathroom mirror, I fear that I will see a terrible bloody monster standing behind me. I convince myself of this so completely that I panic and rush out right after I pee.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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realize you are saying your thoughts outloud.

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When taking trash up to the street, I always runback as fast as I can, counting down from 5, pretending there's a sniper about to shoot me.

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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I have to check my closet for monsters so they don't get me while I sleep

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I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

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when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

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Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

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Pretending you're in a tribute band when you listen to a song.

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i use dental dams

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When looking for something you need, just walk in circles around the house until it appears.

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Think that a movie is shorter after you watch it once or twice

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when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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When you're full at a restaurant and leave your drink. One day you're thirsty and remember back to when you COULD have finished that drink.

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.