Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'

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I brush my teeth in the shower and use the shower for a waterpik.

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

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Everytime I get new magazines or brochures in the mail I like to open them and smell them. Same with new electronics, I love that new smell.

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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Think I'm going to fall down when I step onto an esculator that's not moving.

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Pretending you're in a tribute band when you listen to a song.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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Sometimes...when no one is home, i talk and dance with my dog as if he was person :)

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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I'll sing nice and loud in the shower and wonder why I haven't come out with an album yet

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Clicking the thumbs up or down when two of the submissions have the same number of thumbs up and think i'm the chosen one.

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Teacher asks class a question, so I put my head down and pretend to take notes.

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Get turned on lookin at my own butt

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Seperate your food on you dinner plate

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play with a laser pointer and pretend its a lightsaber

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My hands are always so cold and clamy at school, when I go on dates, and when im with friends. But, of course, when im at home, they.are.normal. :l

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I purposely try to burp as loud as I can in public. –Ikka.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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when baking cookies I eat waaayyy too much of the dough, to the point that I don't even want any of the cookies when I am finished baking them.

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.