Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.