Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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I have a phobia of incest

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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I meow when my cat meows.

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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Pee in the shower

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.