I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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check shower for murder then pee

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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I have to keep reading website pages until I reached 5, 10, 15 etc. When I get close to my age though, I can finish there.

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I have never watched Star Wars.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Boring car ride? Read every food & drinks rapper you can find .

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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When I was little and I saw disney's hercules I had no idea why Meg was working for Hades

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.