Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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Picking my nose.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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Boinked my neighbor

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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I push the door open with my stomach

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.