When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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When I create a situation in my mind where someone is making me mad, then I actually get mad.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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sitting in your room at night and making imagineary monters or random figures out of things in your room.

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.