Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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Play as both sides on fifa

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.