While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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fap

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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Make up a song to yourself.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.