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Pee in the shower

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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Look at my poop before flushing

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When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.