eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

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Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.