I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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Look at my poop before flushing

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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check shower for murder then pee

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.