Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.