When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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I hate being called "buddy".

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.