Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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I chew my ice cream.

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.