Mayada stupid

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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Only use the left earphone.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.