I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.