Try to talk to my pet telepathically. - sky

thumb_up thumb_down -54

you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

thumb_up thumb_down -78

don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

thumb_up thumb_down -90

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down +3

pull out a flies wings and let it go

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

thumb_up thumb_down -25

In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.