I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -46

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

thumb_up thumb_down -64

When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Take off the ends of the banana (

thumb_up thumb_down -100

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

thumb_up thumb_down -116

Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

thumb_up thumb_down +1

my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.