When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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I piss in the bed every night

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.