sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.