Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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sing like a pro in da shower

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Still record on VHS tapes.

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.