When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Think about breathing...

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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Sometimes I toot.

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.