take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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Boring car ride? Read every food & drinks rapper you can find .

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When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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Ever played the sims, then wondered if you were just apart of a game and that maybe someone is controlling YOUR every move? Yeah. Me too.

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.