Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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After watching a video of someone doing something tiring, I always feel tired in whichever body part they were using in the video

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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when I get a really good idea, I write notes in excruciating detail, as I believe my brilliance will quickly disappear and I will have no idea what I was writing about ..

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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creating your own personal perfect partner in romance or frendship, almost like a imaginary friend (but you don't speak to them out loud)

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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Talk to my cat.

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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I eat ass

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.