Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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If I have my computer and I have to do something quietly (because there are other people about) I hear music in heaphones, just so it seems to myself that I'm more discreet, as I can't hear myself.

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Love the Twilight books, HATE the movies.

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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i have conversations in my head about showing someone some music and end up playing specific parts of various songs on my ipod and memorise the timings just in case it does happen

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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I hate being called "buddy".

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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I have to keep reading website pages until I reached 5, 10, 15 etc. When I get close to my age though, I can finish there.

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I brush my teeth while im in the shower

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When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.