HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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I like to sleep on the floor; my my cushion is too soft.

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When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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When i'm home alone with the dog i have a conversation with the dog, sometimes in my head & sometimes out loud, in the voice that i think the dog would have if it could speak. Then sometimes i realise that i haven't checked if anybody else is home !

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stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Not get any thumb ups on a post. Turns out there really are some things only I do...

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Finally understand the meaning of a song i used to like as a child....... Im a Barbie girl in a Barbie world-Noel

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.