My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Before posting a comment when you need several consecutive tries to type the words in the box because the lettering is so damn hard to read. But your friend can do it in one try. He got the easy one.

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If its dark and you have to go with rhe stairs i do that running because i tink somebody is behind my

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Use the 0.3141592653589793238462643383279502884 second rule

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Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

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Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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I see some one I have a crush on in the hallway and I walk towards them and brush my arm against them and be like OMG I TOUCHED HER!

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when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.