Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

Pick your dead skin then eat it.

Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

Wish I could hang out with some people from this site sometimes.

I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.