Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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I eat ass

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

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Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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Poop naked.

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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I brace myself and close my eyes when I send an email to my teachers or parents.

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I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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I wish I can go somewhere where there is no influences trying to get me to buy a product or be a certain way

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To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.