I masturbate with sandpaper

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sing like a pro in da shower

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play on your game for ten minutes before you realise why you stoppedd the last time

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Sometimes I put on my running shoes to make myself feel like I worked out but I really didn't.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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Getting really ticked off when Wikipedia tells you the ending of a book in the introduction. And the thing is that you don't even see it coming! Ex. My Sister's Keeper is about a family struggling with its own internal problems, especially with the oldest daughter having leukemia and the youngest is the only one who may or may not save her. *name* dies in the end. WTF?

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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wen on this website go look at the most disliked

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.