Look at my poop before flushing

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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When you buy a car you then see that make/model everywhere.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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i have conversations in my head about showing someone some music and end up playing specific parts of various songs on my ipod and memorise the timings just in case it does happen

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Thinking of something but got distracted for a few seconds. After that, I forgot what was I thinking about.

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I hate being called "buddy".

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.