I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

Pee in the shower

when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.