I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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Pee in the shower

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.