Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.